Noos ewe all kens wit az am like, az pure loves all udder annemals, esspesshally the babes varr eye etty. Anways, az wiz wiff ma pussee cat pals Stan and Hilda last nites in the living rooms, that wiz rite cool, coz az finks Hilda pure fancies mee. Az wiz tellin them that az wiz lookin forward tae thiz weekends coz ma Dads hooman sistur iz comin tae stay wiff uz and shee haz a dug and a cat. Theys are called Broose and Mallee or sumfin. Broose is a cat and Mallee iz a dug - a babe dug. Theys are Inglish, but az widnae hold that against thems, in fact az widnae hold anyfin against thems. LOL. LOL, fur unedducated peepells meens Lots of Love az finks. Ma Mum says it stands fur Laffin oot Loud, but am no sure aboot that. Anyways az wiz gettin masell all reddee fur Bruce and Malllees visit, az wiz cleenin oot ma bits, if ewe kens wit a meens. Like ma eers and fings. But ewes will no beeleeve it, it noo turns oot that Bruce and Malleee iz no comin tae stae wiff uz. Az wiz rite upset and az asked why theys are no cumin. Ma Mum said that ma bruvers and sisturs wid eet Broose the cat and Mallee couldnae come tae visit eiver, coz Mallee wiz a sort of Dash hound. Wit the blazzes iz a Dash hound? See ma Mollee iz a Dash hound two shee pure Dashes aroond the gerdin at 190 mph. Then az rememburs that az could look up a Dash hound on the World Wide Spiders Webb fing. OMG az couldnae beelevee wit az wiz seein. It wiz a Sossage Dug!!! Az swears tae ma sell, a dug made fae sossages. FANTASTICK. How cool iz that.
But ma Mum says thats why Mallee cannee come an visit, coz all ma bruvers and sisters pure loves sossages and that widnae bee fare on the wee dug, tae bee covered in salt and peppers, and pure eetin fur dinner. See noo, az pure widnae allow that tae happin. See az am a veggeetareean, but ma brovers and sisturs arenae.
So az will jist sit in ma prizon cell and no speek tae anybuddee, fur at leest 5 minutes. So there.
Az will let ewe kens if any dug ever iz pure aloud tae visit mee.
Love big Presley the vegggeetareean fillosifer. xxx
Monday, 1 September 2008
Sunday, 31 August 2008
Wit a load of Bool
Az haz bin so bizzee wiff doin udder fings az haz no had a chance tae speek tae ewes, but pure loads haz happined tae mee. Az haznae stopped laffin fur ages and noo az haz belly ake. See wit happined wiz thiz. Ma Mum pure got her hair all dun rite nice fur tae go tae work - az diznae ken wit all that iz aboot, ah meen, its not like anybuddee reeelee cares. Anyways, off shee pure goes and iz like drivin doon the road dane hur Rhoda in hur Skoda impersunashon. Next fing she sees sum coos, then shee pure looked again and seen udders. There wiz aboot 200 of them walkin doon a lane towards the road. Noo see, fing iz, ma Mum wiz rite worried that theys wid bee hurted by a car or a lorree, so shee stops and sees a lite on in a hoose. Shee drove up tae the hoose and an old wumin opened the door. Ma Mum telt hur that she had seen a coo and sum udders walkin doon the lane. The poor wumin neerlee had a pure hart attack and ran fae hur hoose, followed in hot purrsoot by ma Mum. It turns oot that thiz wumin wiz the mother of the fermer who owned the coos. Ma Mum felt rite sorree fur the wumin coz shee wiz aboot 90 yeers old. The wumin that iz, no ma Mum - az finks ma Mum iz only 80 sumfin. Anyways, ma Mum pure runs doon the hill tae the lane and stopped the traffick, befour any coos got hit. Then shee pure gives it hur best impersunatshun of Farmer Giles, and shouts at the coos Shoe, Shoe, and they pure stared at hur like she wiz a nut job! Noo ma Mum iz no wan tae bee intimmadated buy a load of coos, so shee walked rite up tae them and says shoe ya daft moo. Cool eh? Noo ma Mum finks they kent shee wiz an undertaker coz they pure ran back intae there feeld. But az finks ma Mum jizt got two close and pure frightened the life oot of them wae a face like hurs an it wiz rainin so ma Mums hare wiz all over the place buy noo . The wee auld wumin fanked ma Mum fur awe hur help and ma Mum says, az didnae fink it wiz rite fur coos tae bee walkin doon tae the road. An the auld wumin said, theys iz no coos, theys iz bools!! Well the look on ma Mums face wiz pure dead brilliant, man az fots shee had seen a ghost. Bools, Bools, that iz so pure funnee. Well it wid have bin if ma Mum hud bin wearin a red jacket. So the moral of ma storee iz thiz. If ewes sees coos walkin doon the road, jizt remembur tae look underneef them, coz theys may be the udder kind of coo - a Bool.
Mee and Mollee iz still laffin coz ma Mum diznae ken a coo fae a Bool!!
Love tae all ma babes, and espeshally ma babe Rag who haz pure quallified fae Crufts again.
Love fae Big Presley the fillosifer. xx
Mee and Mollee iz still laffin coz ma Mum diznae ken a coo fae a Bool!!
Love tae all ma babes, and espeshally ma babe Rag who haz pure quallified fae Crufts again.
Love fae Big Presley the fillosifer. xx
Saturday, 23 August 2008
Hullo its Meee az iz back wiff avengence!!
Deer all ma babes
Az iz reelee sorree az haz no bin around tae post, az wiz spendin two mutch time on an udder website lookin at picktoors of all ma babes. Az haz left that noo tae consintrate on ma ane fings an az haz noo got ma ane fotos tae look at. That iz pure dead cool.
Az haz had a grate time over the past 6 monffs, seein ma babes and meetin noo babes. But ma all times favrite fing iz goin tae visit ma Antee Noras at the seeside. See shee iz mum tae ma Feeeonsee Rag. Yip its troo, az swears tae masell, az haz got engaged and a prettier babe ewes will no see. Lots of rite nice fings haz happin tae mee and az will tells ewes all wit theys are and az will tells ewes how ma noo babee bruver iz dane. Yip its troo, az swears tae masell az haz a noo babee bruver, well see, hees no a reel bruver, hee iz like a quarter bruver, coz hee iz a canaeree. Hee iz rite cool, and az finks Ollee wur cat fancees him, coz Ollee pure sits all days lookin at him, like az diz wiff ma fotos of ma babes. Sum sad fings have happined tae mee two, but az diznae like tae bover two mutch aboot sad fings, coz they make mee sad. So maybees az will no bover tellin ewes any sad stuff, coz that will makes ewes sad two.
Anyways, az iz back and az iz lookin forwards tae tellin ewes all aboot ma rite happeee life hear at the open prizon in Lan Ark.
Love tae all ma babes, and if ewes wid like a date wiff mee, pleese emails mee and az will telt ewe wit buz tae take tae the prizon.
Love Presley the King and Fillosifur. xxx
Az iz reelee sorree az haz no bin around tae post, az wiz spendin two mutch time on an udder website lookin at picktoors of all ma babes. Az haz left that noo tae consintrate on ma ane fings an az haz noo got ma ane fotos tae look at. That iz pure dead cool.
Az haz had a grate time over the past 6 monffs, seein ma babes and meetin noo babes. But ma all times favrite fing iz goin tae visit ma Antee Noras at the seeside. See shee iz mum tae ma Feeeonsee Rag. Yip its troo, az swears tae masell, az haz got engaged and a prettier babe ewes will no see. Lots of rite nice fings haz happin tae mee and az will tells ewes all wit theys are and az will tells ewes how ma noo babee bruver iz dane. Yip its troo, az swears tae masell az haz a noo babee bruver, well see, hees no a reel bruver, hee iz like a quarter bruver, coz hee iz a canaeree. Hee iz rite cool, and az finks Ollee wur cat fancees him, coz Ollee pure sits all days lookin at him, like az diz wiff ma fotos of ma babes. Sum sad fings have happined tae mee two, but az diznae like tae bover two mutch aboot sad fings, coz they make mee sad. So maybees az will no bover tellin ewes any sad stuff, coz that will makes ewes sad two.
Anyways, az iz back and az iz lookin forwards tae tellin ewes all aboot ma rite happeee life hear at the open prizon in Lan Ark.
Love tae all ma babes, and if ewes wid like a date wiff mee, pleese emails mee and az will telt ewe wit buz tae take tae the prizon.
Love Presley the King and Fillosifur. xxx
Sunday, 20 January 2008
Day Release
Hullo all ma fans, az bets ewes haz been missin me, well az iz back! Az haz been pure dead buzy rightin ma book. Todays though ah decides tae take a day aff fae rightin and az went on a walk wae some of ma beetches and some of ma hetro sexually challenged pals. See az wiz going tae write that theys were gay, but not all of thems are, some are pure right grumpy sometimes. Anyways aff me and ma Molls went tae a right far place in the pet hearse, az finks it wiz aboot 397 miles tae get there and aboot 3 miles tae come hame. Az meets up wae sum of ma old pals, but az wiz right sad that ma best pal Toby McKay wiznae there.
Well aw ma udder pals wiz there, Spooky caspur the sexually challenged wan, and hiz new boyfriend Ruben!! Ruben, wit kind of name is that?? If ma Molls wets on the carpet, az heers ma Mum shout, az haz bin 'ruben' this fur ages and the stain still haznae cum oot.
Then there wiz an udder big guy there called John, az finks az will call him Jonny, coz wees were on a walk and az kens some wan else called Johnny Walker. Noo ma pal Jonny, had hiz cells mates wae him and they wurs called Toots and Lassie. No the Lassie fae the telly mind, in fact, if shees wiz Lassie, shees wid be oot a job, coz she wiz sufferin from that wumins fing and shees wiz right narky wae the boys, butt she pure dead like mee.
Ewes will no believe wit happened tae mees. Az does what a King haz dae do, and coz az didnae huv ma Minder big mac wae me or ma heed of security Ikea, az decided that az should show ma beetches that az wiz a right proper gentledug and cover ma pee. But az swears tae masell, az a did thiz az fot a had dropped ma bling...wan of the Kings crown jewells, so az pure dead quickly bent doon tae pick it up wiffoot them seeins mee. But oz ah hears is awe the prison guards right laffin, coz theys finks az fell. Noo if ewes heers az fells, that iz jist no true.
Az iz pure right tired the nite, so az iz aff fur ma handsome sleep. Az will be back soon.
Love tae awe ma beetches.
Big Presley the King. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Well aw ma udder pals wiz there, Spooky caspur the sexually challenged wan, and hiz new boyfriend Ruben!! Ruben, wit kind of name is that?? If ma Molls wets on the carpet, az heers ma Mum shout, az haz bin 'ruben' this fur ages and the stain still haznae cum oot.
Then there wiz an udder big guy there called John, az finks az will call him Jonny, coz wees were on a walk and az kens some wan else called Johnny Walker. Noo ma pal Jonny, had hiz cells mates wae him and they wurs called Toots and Lassie. No the Lassie fae the telly mind, in fact, if shees wiz Lassie, shees wid be oot a job, coz she wiz sufferin from that wumins fing and shees wiz right narky wae the boys, butt she pure dead like mee.
Ewes will no believe wit happened tae mees. Az does what a King haz dae do, and coz az didnae huv ma Minder big mac wae me or ma heed of security Ikea, az decided that az should show ma beetches that az wiz a right proper gentledug and cover ma pee. But az swears tae masell, az a did thiz az fot a had dropped ma bling...wan of the Kings crown jewells, so az pure dead quickly bent doon tae pick it up wiffoot them seeins mee. But oz ah hears is awe the prison guards right laffin, coz theys finks az fell. Noo if ewes heers az fells, that iz jist no true.
Az iz pure right tired the nite, so az iz aff fur ma handsome sleep. Az will be back soon.
Love tae awe ma beetches.
Big Presley the King. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wednesday, 9 January 2008
Az haz a new hero
Az ewes will ken az haz been lookin fur a way oot of the open prison here in Lan Ark fur pure dead ages noo, but az haz no been very good at it. Well except that wan day that me and ma Molls took the bus tae visit ma Aunty Rachels and wees had tae come back coz az had forgotten ma Tiger.
Az iz always lookin fur ways tae eescape ma prison, coz wees is all lifers in here, and ma favorit film is the Great Eescape. Well only the wans that does gets to escapes, no the wans that gets themsells cot. Noo although wees are all lifers in this open prison, wees iz no on deaf row, so that iz a right bonus fur uz, coz wees can hear, so maybees wees are on hears row. But check oot yon Kenny Rich, wit iz he awe aboot. Theys Americans were aboot tae put him in wan of they electric chair fings, but wan hoor before, theys finks that maybees hees should get an udder chance. Noo there wiz only wan good fing aboot that, coz he wid have got a right nice meal that night, but the right bad fing iz, he didnae get a chance tae play leap frog wae any beetches. Anyways, az haz herd that hees haz eescaped and ewes will no beeleeve this but hees haz only gone and eescaped tae Scotland, the very place wees is tryin tae eescape fae.
Noo wit iz awe that aboot? Az iz noo finkin that if somewan wid rather bee here in Scotland than be in wan of they deaf row places, then maybees me and Ma Molls haz maybees got a good life. Az finks az will need tae re considur eescapin fae this prison.
Big Presley haz left the study tae work oot a plan tae stay at the open prison in Lan Ark. x
Az iz always lookin fur ways tae eescape ma prison, coz wees is all lifers in here, and ma favorit film is the Great Eescape. Well only the wans that does gets to escapes, no the wans that gets themsells cot. Noo although wees are all lifers in this open prison, wees iz no on deaf row, so that iz a right bonus fur uz, coz wees can hear, so maybees wees are on hears row. But check oot yon Kenny Rich, wit iz he awe aboot. Theys Americans were aboot tae put him in wan of they electric chair fings, but wan hoor before, theys finks that maybees hees should get an udder chance. Noo there wiz only wan good fing aboot that, coz he wid have got a right nice meal that night, but the right bad fing iz, he didnae get a chance tae play leap frog wae any beetches. Anyways, az haz herd that hees haz eescaped and ewes will no beeleeve this but hees haz only gone and eescaped tae Scotland, the very place wees is tryin tae eescape fae.
Noo wit iz awe that aboot? Az iz noo finkin that if somewan wid rather bee here in Scotland than be in wan of they deaf row places, then maybees me and Ma Molls haz maybees got a good life. Az finks az will need tae re considur eescapin fae this prison.
Big Presley haz left the study tae work oot a plan tae stay at the open prison in Lan Ark. x
Tuesday, 8 January 2008
The Kings Real Birffday
Remembrin the King, its hiz birfday - ma pal Elviz the Pelviz Presley. Today wiz the day Elviz the Pelviz wiz born back in 1935, so ah fink he wid huv been 730 yrs old today. Thats right cool eh? Noo az diznae kens wit happened the night he died, but az have a Suspicious Mind and az finks he jist finally managed tae eescape fae all the fans, or fannees az ma pal big Ivy calls them. Noo az kens ewes iz finkin that az am jist nofin but a Hound Dog, makin up stories, but az haz read aboot the night he died and az kens it diznae add up.
See thiz iz wit happened. Elviz wiz a right joker and wan night he entered a competition fur an Elivz 'look a like', and dae ewes ken wit happened, he didnae win it, az swears tae masell, he came furd. That wiz so funnee, ma Molls loves that story. And did ewes ken that ma pal
Elviz the Pelvis wiz a drug enforcement officer, that is right troo tae, coz it wiz yon bampot President Nixon that swore him in az wan on the 21 Dezember 1970 . And az haz seen the picktoors tae. Noo az kens that ma pal Elviz liked his buggers, double wans wae cheeze on thems tae, and az kens he could have dane wae a run aroond ma exercise yerd, but az diznae finks that he died coz he eight wan bugger too many. Ma feery on his deaf is thiz. Az finks he got up wan mornin and tells hiz pals he hud enuff of the fannees and wiz goin tae disappear fur a while. So he dresses himsell up as Elvis the singer and aff he goes. Noo az finks he telt hiz pals tae tell everywan that he wiz deed, so that theys widnae go lookin fur him. And theys fot it wid be pure dead funny tae say he died dane a poo on the loo. But then a right bad accident happened oot side Greysland. Two wumin wur kilt by a car. Noo Elviz couldnae very well come back and say, az wiz only jokin, az did no die dane a poo in the loo. And az swears tae masell that still tae thiz day Priscilla still talks aboot him likes hees is still aroond. Only last year she went and says 'Elviz loves watchin football'. Noo she wiznae talkin aboot me, coz az likes playin football and ewes wid think that 29yrs doon the line fae hiz poo in the loo deaf, that she wid ken tae talk aboot him in the past tense. Even az kens that. Hees is deed 30yrs noo and his father said that wees wid find oot the troof aboot Elviz 50years efter his father died. Thats a right long time tae wait. Az finks theys should come clean noo and telt uz the troof, coz az wid hate tae fink that az wiznae the only Presley the King still kickin aboot. And az finks that az seen him near oor open prison here in Lan Ark. Hees will probably be spyin on mees coz az iz the new King, az iz Elvis the Pedigree Lurcher, and hees will want tae see awe ma beetches. Well az iz no sharein ma beetches wae him, coz theys are awe mine and az will always Love then right Tender.
So az hopes hees haz a happy birffday where ever hees iz, but its no ma birfday so az iz no bovered.
Elvis the King haz left the study, hees iz takin care of business in the exercise yerd, checkin that no wan is spyin on him dane a poo.
See thiz iz wit happened. Elviz wiz a right joker and wan night he entered a competition fur an Elivz 'look a like', and dae ewes ken wit happened, he didnae win it, az swears tae masell, he came furd. That wiz so funnee, ma Molls loves that story. And did ewes ken that ma pal
Elviz the Pelvis wiz a drug enforcement officer, that is right troo tae, coz it wiz yon bampot President Nixon that swore him in az wan on the 21 Dezember 1970 . And az haz seen the picktoors tae. Noo az kens that ma pal Elviz liked his buggers, double wans wae cheeze on thems tae, and az kens he could have dane wae a run aroond ma exercise yerd, but az diznae finks that he died coz he eight wan bugger too many. Ma feery on his deaf is thiz. Az finks he got up wan mornin and tells hiz pals he hud enuff of the fannees and wiz goin tae disappear fur a while. So he dresses himsell up as Elvis the singer and aff he goes. Noo az finks he telt hiz pals tae tell everywan that he wiz deed, so that theys widnae go lookin fur him. And theys fot it wid be pure dead funny tae say he died dane a poo on the loo. But then a right bad accident happened oot side Greysland. Two wumin wur kilt by a car. Noo Elviz couldnae very well come back and say, az wiz only jokin, az did no die dane a poo in the loo. And az swears tae masell that still tae thiz day Priscilla still talks aboot him likes hees is still aroond. Only last year she went and says 'Elviz loves watchin football'. Noo she wiznae talkin aboot me, coz az likes playin football and ewes wid think that 29yrs doon the line fae hiz poo in the loo deaf, that she wid ken tae talk aboot him in the past tense. Even az kens that. Hees is deed 30yrs noo and his father said that wees wid find oot the troof aboot Elviz 50years efter his father died. Thats a right long time tae wait. Az finks theys should come clean noo and telt uz the troof, coz az wid hate tae fink that az wiznae the only Presley the King still kickin aboot. And az finks that az seen him near oor open prison here in Lan Ark. Hees will probably be spyin on mees coz az iz the new King, az iz Elvis the Pedigree Lurcher, and hees will want tae see awe ma beetches. Well az iz no sharein ma beetches wae him, coz theys are awe mine and az will always Love then right Tender.
So az hopes hees haz a happy birffday where ever hees iz, but its no ma birfday so az iz no bovered.
Elvis the King haz left the study, hees iz takin care of business in the exercise yerd, checkin that no wan is spyin on him dane a poo.
Saturday, 5 January 2008
Wellcum tae 2008
Hulo all ewes oot there and az wants tae wish awe ewes a Happy New Years! Noo az haz hud a problem gettin on tae a compootar, tae gee ewes ma pre-dick-shons, coz az haz been on wan of they freeky retreet fings. Az wiz finking that az wid tells ewes awe aboot ma retreet fing coz az finks it wiz dead cool. See wit happened wiz thiz. Az wiz looking on ma compootar, surfin the web in ma Speedos, and az finds oot that lots of plonkers take time oot tae go tae a retreet tae find themsells. Az finks that iz so cool, so if ewes gets lost, oz ewe need tae dae do is go tae wan of they retreet fings and hey presto, there ewer are, ewes find yersell.
Noo ma bouncer pal big Mac wiz aff fur the Kissmass holidays, he didnae go far, he jist kinda stayed at hame in his cell, playin wae himsell. Noo that meant that me an Ma Molls couldnae go oot in publik, coz a wid have been pure dead mobbed by the mob of ma fans. Ma pal big Ivy calls ma fans the fannees, coz there is so many of them. So az didnae ken wit az wiz going tae do wae ma time aff at New Yeers, so az fot it wid be cool tae go tae a retreet. Az packs my back pack and off a went. Well I didnae get very far coz a didnae ken wit bus took me tae the retreet, so right away az wiz lost and in the position of tryin tae find masell and az hudnae even left the prison. Thats jist goes tae prove that they retreet fings really work and nae wonder ewes have tae find yersells coz it disnae take much tae get lost and confoosed. So aff az goes and retreets tae ma bed. Cool eh?
Right az iz no wantin ewes tae laff at me coz az gets masell lost in ma ane prison, coz sumfin else happened. Ma Aunty Rachels who lives right near me, well aboot 248 miles away. Well she said ah could go and stay wae hur and ma Unkill Eddee. Az checked how much pocket money ah had in ma Big Boys Toy Fund and az hud 23 and a half pence, plus 5 Euros fur ma bus fare. So az packs ma back pack again and aff az goes tae ma Aunty Rachels. No wit happened wiz thiz. Az had packed awe ma best fings. Az packed ma Speedos (fur sufrin the net), ma half eaten bugger fae Santa Coz, ma new serious bling and ma Molls. Az pits ma Molls in ma back pack coz wees didnae huv eenuff pocket money fur 2 bus fares. When wees were on the bus, me and Molls wur pure dead happy, and az wiz tellin ma Molls about awe the right nice feelds and fings wees wur drivin past, coz she wiz still in the back pack. Then a remembers az hud left ma Tiger at hame. Noo az canny go anywhere wayoot ma Tiger, so wees hud tae get back aff the bus and go back hame. Az didnae have eenuff money tae get back tae the prison, and the bus driver flung me aff 2 stops early and wees had tae walk awe the way back. Az iz noo going tae huff tae save up mare pocket money so that me and ma Molls can go and visit ma Aunty Rachel.
Az iz away off tae clear the patio of Wizzy poos, so that az will get pocket money. Big presley haz left the study tae eat mare poo, nae wonder he talks such poo.
Aw ra best fur 2008 tae awe ma beetches. Love fae Big Presley the Pedigree Lurcher. xx
Noo ma bouncer pal big Mac wiz aff fur the Kissmass holidays, he didnae go far, he jist kinda stayed at hame in his cell, playin wae himsell. Noo that meant that me an Ma Molls couldnae go oot in publik, coz a wid have been pure dead mobbed by the mob of ma fans. Ma pal big Ivy calls ma fans the fannees, coz there is so many of them. So az didnae ken wit az wiz going tae do wae ma time aff at New Yeers, so az fot it wid be cool tae go tae a retreet. Az packs my back pack and off a went. Well I didnae get very far coz a didnae ken wit bus took me tae the retreet, so right away az wiz lost and in the position of tryin tae find masell and az hudnae even left the prison. Thats jist goes tae prove that they retreet fings really work and nae wonder ewes have tae find yersells coz it disnae take much tae get lost and confoosed. So aff az goes and retreets tae ma bed. Cool eh?
Right az iz no wantin ewes tae laff at me coz az gets masell lost in ma ane prison, coz sumfin else happened. Ma Aunty Rachels who lives right near me, well aboot 248 miles away. Well she said ah could go and stay wae hur and ma Unkill Eddee. Az checked how much pocket money ah had in ma Big Boys Toy Fund and az hud 23 and a half pence, plus 5 Euros fur ma bus fare. So az packs ma back pack again and aff az goes tae ma Aunty Rachels. No wit happened wiz thiz. Az had packed awe ma best fings. Az packed ma Speedos (fur sufrin the net), ma half eaten bugger fae Santa Coz, ma new serious bling and ma Molls. Az pits ma Molls in ma back pack coz wees didnae huv eenuff pocket money fur 2 bus fares. When wees were on the bus, me and Molls wur pure dead happy, and az wiz tellin ma Molls about awe the right nice feelds and fings wees wur drivin past, coz she wiz still in the back pack. Then a remembers az hud left ma Tiger at hame. Noo az canny go anywhere wayoot ma Tiger, so wees hud tae get back aff the bus and go back hame. Az didnae have eenuff money tae get back tae the prison, and the bus driver flung me aff 2 stops early and wees had tae walk awe the way back. Az iz noo going tae huff tae save up mare pocket money so that me and ma Molls can go and visit ma Aunty Rachel.
Az iz away off tae clear the patio of Wizzy poos, so that az will get pocket money. Big presley haz left the study tae eat mare poo, nae wonder he talks such poo.
Aw ra best fur 2008 tae awe ma beetches. Love fae Big Presley the Pedigree Lurcher. xx
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