Hullo ewes, noo az am goin tae tell ewes a pure rite funnee storee and az swears tae masell it is the troof. See wit happined wiz thiz. Rememburs az telt ewes that ma Dad pure took his car fur a bit of off road drivin a foo weeks ago only trubble wiz that wees didnae have an off road car.
Anyways, ma Mum bott a noo car the udder day. Its wan of they rite fancee cars call a turbos and it can go frum 0-6 mph, if ewe gee it a good poosh and it can day 0-60 mph frew the feelds wae ma Dad at the wheel playin rolly polly wiff it. Noo ewes will all ken that bad lucks always cums in free's, and last nite it wiz akcident numbur two. Wit happined wiz thiz. Ma Mum wiz goin tae collect ma hooman neese and neffewe, and fankfoolee she didnae have any deed pets in hur car. So shee wiz sittin in the car at the traffick lites, when she looks in hur rear view mirror and seen a bum. Noo thiz bum wiz like drivin too fast and hee pure couldnae stop in times, so hee used ma Mums car az a batterin ram fur tae stop.
Ma Mums heed wiz pure flung rite hard against the heed fing and she said it pure hurted. Next fing ma Mum herd syreens and ewes will no beeleeve wit happined next. Free polis cars, two amboolances and a docktur on a motorbike turned up. Theys took ma Mum into the amboolance and pure felt hur all over hur heed. Az finks shee liked that coz the paramedic man wiz rite handsum. So wiff that in mind, ma Mum pure pooshed hur luck and telt him that shee wiz hurtin in udder rude places so that hee wid sees to them bits two. But dont tell ma Dad that bit.
Anyways, then the poliss man says tae ma Mum have ewe bin drinkin, and ma Mum says eye az haz!!! Shee says, az had a cup of coffeee befour az left the hoose. The poliss man then says blow intae thiz fing. Az swears tae masell hee pure did. But its not wit ewes are finking. It wiz a breffaliser. Ma Mum says az haz pure seen thiz on the tellys so az ken wit az haz tae do. Ewe will no guess wit happined next. The fing wiznae working! S..... a brick!! Ma Mum wiz pure rite dizzapointed she wiznae aloud tae blow intae the mans fing.
Noo fing iz, peepells had pure laffed at ma Mum fur bye in Skodas, but it pure saved ma Dads lifes and this time the udder car pure saved ma Mums lifes. The Polliss man couldnt believe how little damage wiz done tae ma Mums car considerins how fast the man in the udder car hit hur, so noo all the Polliss are going tae bye Skodas. Noo fur anybuddee that haz pure laffed at ma Mum and called hur crazee, jist rememburs the Skoda storee......, shee is no az daft as shee wid like ewes tae fink shee iz!
Hur heed wiznae hurted coz ewe canny hurt wood, but wee's will need tae get wur car tae the garage tae bee fixed, coz that wiznae made of wood.
That iz ma pure troo storee fur todays. So have a nice days an az will have a nice day two.
Love fae Presley the King.
Saturday, 29 November 2008
Sunday, 23 November 2008
Sidnae Deevine
Hullo, mee hear, az haz hud pure hunners of hits on ma blog an ah fot az wid tell ewes a pure rite funnee troo storee. Noo az swears tae masell this reelee happined tae mee and Mollee.
Wit happined wiz thiz. A foo nites ago ma Mum got oot sum old videeos tae play on the gramafone. Theys wur videeos of hur when shee wiz jist a puppee, filmed aboot 80 yeers ago. Mee and Mollee pure like seeing the videeos of all ma Mums udder dogs who are noo at Rainbow Bridge. There wiz sum videeos of Kim hur first dug, an Zara an Lucky udder dogs shee had - wees even seen Lucky pure sittin at the table on xmas days an ma Mum pure telt uz that wees are no aloud tae sit at the tables wiff wur bibs on an thats no fare. Then ma Mum wanted tae watch an udder old videeo of hur hooman grand mother. Wees will call hur Wee Gran fur short, coz she wiz smaller than Mollee, ah swears tae masell she wiz. Noo Wee Gran wiz blind all hur life, jist like ma brover Wizzee, but shee had a white stick. Ah finks that wiz tae hit folk over the heed wiff if they got in the way, so am goin tae buy Wizzee a white stick fur hiz xmas. The videeo wiz aboot a time when Wee Gran wiz invited tae a This is Ewer Life fing fur an old wummin called Maggee who wiz aboot 200 yeers old. It wiz pure torture watchin this videeo, then Wee Gran came on near the end an pure sung a song called Ah Swallowed a Peanut. Everybuddee at the 'This is Your Life' pure loved this song and mee and Mollee wiz pure laffin. Am no sure if ma Mum liked it, coz shee wiz pure greetin!
But when Wee Gran had finished singing, wee heard an udder persun singing a song, it wiz called 'Maggee'. Noo am no as good a singur az Basil Brush, but it starts 'I pure wandured tae the hills today...... ' La la la, They say ewe are aged and grey Magee... la la la'
Do ewes ken it??
Well, ma Mum an Dad fot they kent thiz man who wiz singing!! Ah fots wit a pare of plonkers, coz mee an Mollee pure kent rite away who it wiz, coz he also sings Tiny Bubbells.
Noo Wee Gran wiz blind and she kent rite away who it wiz and fankfoolee she says oh how nice, thats Sidnee Deevine!! An az swears tae masell thats pure who it wiz. The look on ma Mum and Dads face wiz a pure picktoor. Its no everydae ewe watch sum old familee videeo and pure sees sumwun as famoss az Wee Gran.!!!
Noo az wid lets ewes all see thiz videeo, but az am goin tae save ewes frum heering Sidnee Deevine!! LOL Bee Happee.
Love fae Big Presley xx
Wit happined wiz thiz. A foo nites ago ma Mum got oot sum old videeos tae play on the gramafone. Theys wur videeos of hur when shee wiz jist a puppee, filmed aboot 80 yeers ago. Mee and Mollee pure like seeing the videeos of all ma Mums udder dogs who are noo at Rainbow Bridge. There wiz sum videeos of Kim hur first dug, an Zara an Lucky udder dogs shee had - wees even seen Lucky pure sittin at the table on xmas days an ma Mum pure telt uz that wees are no aloud tae sit at the tables wiff wur bibs on an thats no fare. Then ma Mum wanted tae watch an udder old videeo of hur hooman grand mother. Wees will call hur Wee Gran fur short, coz she wiz smaller than Mollee, ah swears tae masell she wiz. Noo Wee Gran wiz blind all hur life, jist like ma brover Wizzee, but shee had a white stick. Ah finks that wiz tae hit folk over the heed wiff if they got in the way, so am goin tae buy Wizzee a white stick fur hiz xmas. The videeo wiz aboot a time when Wee Gran wiz invited tae a This is Ewer Life fing fur an old wummin called Maggee who wiz aboot 200 yeers old. It wiz pure torture watchin this videeo, then Wee Gran came on near the end an pure sung a song called Ah Swallowed a Peanut. Everybuddee at the 'This is Your Life' pure loved this song and mee and Mollee wiz pure laffin. Am no sure if ma Mum liked it, coz shee wiz pure greetin!
But when Wee Gran had finished singing, wee heard an udder persun singing a song, it wiz called 'Maggee'. Noo am no as good a singur az Basil Brush, but it starts 'I pure wandured tae the hills today...... ' La la la, They say ewe are aged and grey Magee... la la la'
Do ewes ken it??
Well, ma Mum an Dad fot they kent thiz man who wiz singing!! Ah fots wit a pare of plonkers, coz mee an Mollee pure kent rite away who it wiz, coz he also sings Tiny Bubbells.
Noo Wee Gran wiz blind and she kent rite away who it wiz and fankfoolee she says oh how nice, thats Sidnee Deevine!! An az swears tae masell thats pure who it wiz. The look on ma Mum and Dads face wiz a pure picktoor. Its no everydae ewe watch sum old familee videeo and pure sees sumwun as famoss az Wee Gran.!!!
Noo az wid lets ewes all see thiz videeo, but az am goin tae save ewes frum heering Sidnee Deevine!! LOL Bee Happee.
Love fae Big Presley xx
Saturday, 15 November 2008
Ma Psyco Dad!
Well hullo all ewes, its mee!
Noo ewes will all ken that az am rite cliver, thats coz am a dug and sum of ewes is only hoomans, but az am goin tae tell ewe a rite spookee storee and az swears tae masell its the troof.
See wit happined wiz thiz. Last weekend, az finks that wiz aboot free weeks ago, ma Mum and Dad says theys were away tae a workshop fur tae lern how tae talk tae the anneemals - az fots tae masell eye rite very good!! Wit diz they fink theys are Docktur Doooolittles, its mare like Docktur Doooooflaminnuffin. Anyways, off theys go's tae see ma antee JoeAnne Hull the anneemal comoonicatur tae lerns how tae dae thiz. Noo there wur like sum reel psycho meediums there, and ewe wid fink they wid bee reelee good at it. Noo ma Mum only likes tae talk tae mee and ma Mollee and sumtimes Roobee, so shee pure only got a foo fings that wur so spot on aboot the dug or cat shee wiz talkin tae. But wate fur thiz, the star of the day wiznae a reel psycho meedium, but ma very own psycho Dad. As swears tae masell its so pure troo. His reedins were so flamin accurate that even ma antee JoeAnne wiz pure flabbergasted. Noo, see fing iz, ah kens that a lot of peepells diznae beeleeve in all this and pure finks its nonsense, but see az diznae care, coz ah finks a lott of peepells oot there are off their flamin nuts, theys jizt diznae reelize it. Ma Dad iz getting picktoors sent tae him by peepells from the workshop of dugs that ma Dad diznae ken and he iz pure dane a reedin. Noo sum anneemal coomoonicaturs charges up tae £120 fur tae do thiz and ma Dad iz pure dane it in hiz sleep - jist like he diz all fings espeshally drivin. Anyways az finks thats cool, jist like hiz noo hair cut a numbur too all over!! Ah kens the times Ivor got a number two all over hiz noze but thats an udder storee.
Az wid also like tae say a rite big fank ewe tae a ladee who pure used ma Mum services reecentlee and gave a masseeve donation tae the Dugs who are no as well off az mee and mollee. ma Mum haz pure split the donation between hur favorit charitees and theys wur reel pleesed. With the credit crunchee goin on at the moment, it wiz pure rite geneross of the wumin and ma Mum wiz neerlee greetin when the wumin telt ma Mum wit shee wiz wantin tae gee them.
Anyways, az am away tae talk tae Docktur Doooooflaminnuffin.
Love fae big Presley xxx
Noo ewes will all ken that az am rite cliver, thats coz am a dug and sum of ewes is only hoomans, but az am goin tae tell ewe a rite spookee storee and az swears tae masell its the troof.
See wit happined wiz thiz. Last weekend, az finks that wiz aboot free weeks ago, ma Mum and Dad says theys were away tae a workshop fur tae lern how tae talk tae the anneemals - az fots tae masell eye rite very good!! Wit diz they fink theys are Docktur Doooolittles, its mare like Docktur Doooooflaminnuffin. Anyways, off theys go's tae see ma antee JoeAnne Hull the anneemal comoonicatur tae lerns how tae dae thiz. Noo there wur like sum reel psycho meediums there, and ewe wid fink they wid bee reelee good at it. Noo ma Mum only likes tae talk tae mee and ma Mollee and sumtimes Roobee, so shee pure only got a foo fings that wur so spot on aboot the dug or cat shee wiz talkin tae. But wate fur thiz, the star of the day wiznae a reel psycho meedium, but ma very own psycho Dad. As swears tae masell its so pure troo. His reedins were so flamin accurate that even ma antee JoeAnne wiz pure flabbergasted. Noo, see fing iz, ah kens that a lot of peepells diznae beeleeve in all this and pure finks its nonsense, but see az diznae care, coz ah finks a lott of peepells oot there are off their flamin nuts, theys jizt diznae reelize it. Ma Dad iz getting picktoors sent tae him by peepells from the workshop of dugs that ma Dad diznae ken and he iz pure dane a reedin. Noo sum anneemal coomoonicaturs charges up tae £120 fur tae do thiz and ma Dad iz pure dane it in hiz sleep - jist like he diz all fings espeshally drivin. Anyways az finks thats cool, jist like hiz noo hair cut a numbur too all over!! Ah kens the times Ivor got a number two all over hiz noze but thats an udder storee.
Az wid also like tae say a rite big fank ewe tae a ladee who pure used ma Mum services reecentlee and gave a masseeve donation tae the Dugs who are no as well off az mee and mollee. ma Mum haz pure split the donation between hur favorit charitees and theys wur reel pleesed. With the credit crunchee goin on at the moment, it wiz pure rite geneross of the wumin and ma Mum wiz neerlee greetin when the wumin telt ma Mum wit shee wiz wantin tae gee them.
Anyways, az am away tae talk tae Docktur Doooooflaminnuffin.
Love fae big Presley xxx
Saturday, 11 October 2008
Wit a smashin weak wiff Bobbit
Well hullo all ewes oot there and fanks fur the nice eemales ewe send mees, az am rite glad ewes like ma blog.
Noo fing iz thiz wees haz had a smashin weak and so haz ma Dad. Noo ewe kens mee and am no wan tae laff at udder peepells missfortunes, but see sumtimes az canny help masell. On Mondays mornings my Dad went away tae hiz work. He always goes pure dead earlee in the mornings, when everybuddees iz still sleepin. He wiz neerly at Edinburger when hee decided he wid see jist how well built hiz Skoda wiz and hee fot the best wae tae find thiz oot wid bee tae like play rollee pollee across a feeld in it. So off he goes wiff the greatest off ease, flyin frew the air like he wiz on a trapeese. Hee pure rolled the car fur hunners of miles intae the forrest, geein all the aneemals that lives there a rite frite. Az swears tae masell that iz the troof. How cool wiz that? Noo he pure found out that the Skoda iz built like an army tank and apart fae the fact it wiz lyin on its side, ewes widnae ken it had jist been rolled fur hunners of miles.
So wees iz noo gettin a noo car, thats cool!
Noo if all that wiznae enuff fur wan weak, hee pure went and done the unfinkabill. Noo diz any of ewes ken wit hee did? Az will gee ewe a hint. Hee got sumfin cut off. It wiz a foo inches long and pure hung fae hiz bodee and hee haz had it all his life. Noo wate wan minnut. Ewes are no finkin rite! Wit hee did wiz get hiz poneetale cut off, az swears tae masell he pure did. Noo wit wiz all that aboot, coz noo az have noffin tae swing frum when hees iz tryin tae sit an watch telleys in piece. Az wiz rite sad tae see hee didnae have it anymores, but ma Mum pure finks hee looks rite cool wiffoot it.
Noo fur the best fing that haz ever happined tae mee in ma hole life. Az am so happee az iz neerlee cryin like ma Mollee. Az am pure goin tae meet up wiff ma bruver Aaron after all these yeers. Sum of ewes will ken that mee and Aaron were pure sepurated when wees wur puppees an az diznae ken wit became of ma bruver and ma best pal, but noo az am tae meet him again. Mee and Mollee are like pure finkin of a plan tae pure kidnapp Aaron and bring him tae live here wiff us in wur prizon cell. Az pure loves ma bruver and az will dae anyfin tae have him hear wiff me and the Mollee.
Noo for sum reelee sad noos. Ewes will all ken that az had an old pal called Mr Toby McKay, well az am sorree tae say that ma best pal died on Friday. He wiz a pure brilliant dug, loved by everyone and a reel gentleman and az will miss him very much.
Tae ma big pal Toby McKay, ewe wur one in a million, az will miss ewe always.
Sleep tight big fella.
Love fae Presley the King and Mollee Wallee. xxxx
Noo fing iz thiz wees haz had a smashin weak and so haz ma Dad. Noo ewe kens mee and am no wan tae laff at udder peepells missfortunes, but see sumtimes az canny help masell. On Mondays mornings my Dad went away tae hiz work. He always goes pure dead earlee in the mornings, when everybuddees iz still sleepin. He wiz neerly at Edinburger when hee decided he wid see jist how well built hiz Skoda wiz and hee fot the best wae tae find thiz oot wid bee tae like play rollee pollee across a feeld in it. So off he goes wiff the greatest off ease, flyin frew the air like he wiz on a trapeese. Hee pure rolled the car fur hunners of miles intae the forrest, geein all the aneemals that lives there a rite frite. Az swears tae masell that iz the troof. How cool wiz that? Noo he pure found out that the Skoda iz built like an army tank and apart fae the fact it wiz lyin on its side, ewes widnae ken it had jist been rolled fur hunners of miles.
So wees iz noo gettin a noo car, thats cool!
Noo if all that wiznae enuff fur wan weak, hee pure went and done the unfinkabill. Noo diz any of ewes ken wit hee did? Az will gee ewe a hint. Hee got sumfin cut off. It wiz a foo inches long and pure hung fae hiz bodee and hee haz had it all his life. Noo wate wan minnut. Ewes are no finkin rite! Wit hee did wiz get hiz poneetale cut off, az swears tae masell he pure did. Noo wit wiz all that aboot, coz noo az have noffin tae swing frum when hees iz tryin tae sit an watch telleys in piece. Az wiz rite sad tae see hee didnae have it anymores, but ma Mum pure finks hee looks rite cool wiffoot it.
Noo fur the best fing that haz ever happined tae mee in ma hole life. Az am so happee az iz neerlee cryin like ma Mollee. Az am pure goin tae meet up wiff ma bruver Aaron after all these yeers. Sum of ewes will ken that mee and Aaron were pure sepurated when wees wur puppees an az diznae ken wit became of ma bruver and ma best pal, but noo az am tae meet him again. Mee and Mollee are like pure finkin of a plan tae pure kidnapp Aaron and bring him tae live here wiff us in wur prizon cell. Az pure loves ma bruver and az will dae anyfin tae have him hear wiff me and the Mollee.
Noo for sum reelee sad noos. Ewes will all ken that az had an old pal called Mr Toby McKay, well az am sorree tae say that ma best pal died on Friday. He wiz a pure brilliant dug, loved by everyone and a reel gentleman and az will miss him very much.
Tae ma big pal Toby McKay, ewe wur one in a million, az will miss ewe always.
Sleep tight big fella.
Love fae Presley the King and Mollee Wallee. xxxx
Tuesday, 7 October 2008
Cold Case
Hullo, az iz reelee sorree az haz no bean on here, but see fing iz az haz bin watchin two much telleys. Az haz a noo best programme that makes me and Mollee pure laff wur heeds aff. Its a murrdur programme, well its aboot unsolved murrdurs and theys call in a wumin called Dayle Hymen or sumfin. Ewes can see it on the Discovery channel.
Noo thiz wumin iz like a Cracker, a rite flamin cracker if ewes ask mee. See fing iz, if the poliss cannee solve a crime coz theys are fick, they calls in thiz wumin tae do like a profile of the killer. Noo, fing iz mee and mollee fot it wiz an Art programme when wees herd shee wiz dane profiles, but its no like that. She pure arrives at a murrdur sceene and tells the poliss who theys are lookin fur. Cool eh? Well thats the pure funnee bit and az swears tae masell, thiz iz how shee pure profiles a killur.
Rite wit happins is thiz. The poliss finds bones oot in a forest. Well its usually a dug that finds the bones, but the poliss seems tae forget that bit. Az kens it wiz a dug that found the bones, coz the poliss say theys are lookin fur a lead. Theys canny find the lead so theys call in Dayle Hymen. Az finks theys would have bin better callin in the dog wissperur fur tae find a lead.
Rite so thiz iz wit the Poliss diz ken. Its a body of a wumin, found in the woods, and the wumin iznae wearin clothes. The poliss haz also found nasty DNA stuff on the wumins body, coz the killur haz played leep frog wiff hur befour he kilt hur. And fing iz, the wumin had no heed!
Dayle Hymen then pure looks around the woods and then shee says, the killur disnae want ewes tae ken who they iz, but az finks its definately a man. Shee also says that she finks the wumin died from a severe blow tae the heed!! Man how cool iz thiz wumins observation skills??
Mee and Mollee are pure rite laffin by noo. Wees is no laffin at the deed wumin, wees iz laffin at the Dayle wumin. How fick must american poliss bee if they canny work all that oot fur themselves. Noo fing iz the Poliss still canny find the killer, but then the killurs next intended victum managees to pure escape and she tells the poliss where tae find the killer. Murrdur solved. Cool eh? Then the Dayle wumin says there we are, like a said a man who didnae want tae be cot, and there wees are, az have solved an udder crime.
Noo shee didnae solve the murdurrm, even me and Mollees pure worked that wan oot fur wursells and wees could have telt the poliss the same fings. This tellys programme iz so pure a hoot. Mee and Mollee pure laffs all the way frew it. Check it oot next times ewes is on the discovery channel. It should be called the discover nuffin noo programme.
Enjoy, bee happee and az loves ewe all.
Love fae big Presley the Lurcher. xx
Noo thiz wumin iz like a Cracker, a rite flamin cracker if ewes ask mee. See fing iz, if the poliss cannee solve a crime coz theys are fick, they calls in thiz wumin tae do like a profile of the killer. Noo, fing iz mee and mollee fot it wiz an Art programme when wees herd shee wiz dane profiles, but its no like that. She pure arrives at a murrdur sceene and tells the poliss who theys are lookin fur. Cool eh? Well thats the pure funnee bit and az swears tae masell, thiz iz how shee pure profiles a killur.
Rite wit happins is thiz. The poliss finds bones oot in a forest. Well its usually a dug that finds the bones, but the poliss seems tae forget that bit. Az kens it wiz a dug that found the bones, coz the poliss say theys are lookin fur a lead. Theys canny find the lead so theys call in Dayle Hymen. Az finks theys would have bin better callin in the dog wissperur fur tae find a lead.
Rite so thiz iz wit the Poliss diz ken. Its a body of a wumin, found in the woods, and the wumin iznae wearin clothes. The poliss haz also found nasty DNA stuff on the wumins body, coz the killur haz played leep frog wiff hur befour he kilt hur. And fing iz, the wumin had no heed!
Dayle Hymen then pure looks around the woods and then shee says, the killur disnae want ewes tae ken who they iz, but az finks its definately a man. Shee also says that she finks the wumin died from a severe blow tae the heed!! Man how cool iz thiz wumins observation skills??
Mee and Mollee are pure rite laffin by noo. Wees is no laffin at the deed wumin, wees iz laffin at the Dayle wumin. How fick must american poliss bee if they canny work all that oot fur themselves. Noo fing iz the Poliss still canny find the killer, but then the killurs next intended victum managees to pure escape and she tells the poliss where tae find the killer. Murrdur solved. Cool eh? Then the Dayle wumin says there we are, like a said a man who didnae want tae be cot, and there wees are, az have solved an udder crime.
Noo shee didnae solve the murdurrm, even me and Mollees pure worked that wan oot fur wursells and wees could have telt the poliss the same fings. This tellys programme iz so pure a hoot. Mee and Mollee pure laffs all the way frew it. Check it oot next times ewes is on the discovery channel. It should be called the discover nuffin noo programme.
Enjoy, bee happee and az loves ewe all.
Love fae big Presley the Lurcher. xx
Saturday, 27 September 2008
Look Lefft
Hullo its mee again, have ewes bin missin mee? Well see fing iz thiz az iz no bin well, which meens az haz bin sick. Noo az diznae ken why, ah meen its no like ma Mum cooked mee mare mince or anyfin like that. So az finks ah cot wan of they invizibill bug fings. Az will no go intae two many deetales aboot ma sick, but wit happined wiz thiz. Wan day az wiz no feelin well and az wiz sick on ma Mums noo floorin. How cool wiz that? Noo az looked rite sad and widnae play wiff ma Mollee. Az wiz only sad coz when az wiz sick it wiz ma choo that came up! So ma Dad pure took mee tae the Docktor. They Docktors arenae rite in the heed. Hee iz always tryin tae stick fings in ma back bottom, az swears, that is the troof. Hee said it wiz tae take ma tempratoor, Aye Rite!!Butt see az have herd aboot folk like him, so az widnae let him day that tae mee. Anyways, hee pure geed mee sum medisin tae pit in ma dinner and az wiz well again in no times.
Noo az haz an udder troo storee tae tell ewes and az swears tae ma sell thiz iz the troof and az will try and no pit in any cheep jokes!!. Ma Mum wiz drivin tae the Vets tae get tablets fur worms, noo az didnae ken she had worms. Anyways az Roda in hur Skoda wiz dane hur usual speed like she wiz in a Grand Prick race, she pure seen somfin running across the road in front of hur. Wiz it a moose? wiz it a rabbitt? wiz it an airoplane? - No, noo ewes are bean dafft, it wiznae a airoplane, it wiz a burd!! Well thiz wee burd wiz pure runnin like the clappers! But fing iz hee pure forgot tae look lefft. Coz fing iz, cumin towards ma Mum wiz free cars!! And ewes ken wit happined next!! SPLAT! Well no quite. The burd went rite under neef the car missin the wheels.
Hee pure looked like he wiz in a tumbler dryer, gettin flung aboot. But...fankfoolee, hee pure bounced oot the udder end, and he wiz still alive, az swear hee wiz! Well he wiz still alive until the second and furd car hit him!! Buy noo, ma Mum iz neerlee pure greetin, coz wan fing ma Mum reelee hates tae see iz deed aneemals. So shee pure screetches tae a halt and pure diz hur Lindfurd Christie impersunatshon. Well wit ah meen by that, iz ewe ken how when marafon runners pure starts a race they kinda gets doon on wan knee, well that iz wit ah means buy sayin ma Mum wiz like Lindfurd Christie - coz shee canny run and by the time shee got back tae where the burd wiz, shee wiz on hur knees. Noo the wee burd, az will call him RR fur short, that stands fur Road Runner - and standin wiz mare than the burd wiz dane!. Hee wiz pure lying on the road lookin like hee had bin hit by aboot free cars or sumfin. So ma Mum picks him up and pure carried him tae hur car. Hee wiznae happee aboot thiz, az finks hee had herd aboot ma Mums drivin, and hee pure tried tae bite hur. Cool eh? Ma Mum had pure hunners of blood on hur hands frum the wee burd.
When shee got tae the vets, shee pure asked the vet (The Vet is called Donald, but befour ewes ask, hees no a Duck), if the burd could bee saved, and if it couldnae cood hee pure day the rite fing by the burd and pit it tae sleep. Noo the vets nurse pure said check oot the nick of him, but turns oot shee wiz talkin aboot RR an no Donald the Vet. Donald said tae ma Mum usually if a burd iz like pure runnin, there is sumfin rong wiff it and it turned oot that the RR had bin runnin on hiz knees - how cool iz that, az will get Mollee tae try that later. Anyways, Donald reckoned that RR could bee saved and ma Mum wiz rite happee. So hee wiz givin sum medisin by the Vet and pit in a box fur tae get better. Cool eh? Noo az hopes that RR haz pure learned hiz lesson that ewes should always look lefft befour going like the clappers across the road. So next times ewes sees a burd in ewer gerdin, check oot its knees and see if hees haz any sss..cars, coz it may just bee Road Runner.
take care, az will be back soon, love fae big Presley the King xxxx
Noo az haz an udder troo storee tae tell ewes and az swears tae ma sell thiz iz the troof and az will try and no pit in any cheep jokes!!. Ma Mum wiz drivin tae the Vets tae get tablets fur worms, noo az didnae ken she had worms. Anyways az Roda in hur Skoda wiz dane hur usual speed like she wiz in a Grand Prick race, she pure seen somfin running across the road in front of hur. Wiz it a moose? wiz it a rabbitt? wiz it an airoplane? - No, noo ewes are bean dafft, it wiznae a airoplane, it wiz a burd!! Well thiz wee burd wiz pure runnin like the clappers! But fing iz hee pure forgot tae look lefft. Coz fing iz, cumin towards ma Mum wiz free cars!! And ewes ken wit happined next!! SPLAT! Well no quite. The burd went rite under neef the car missin the wheels.
Hee pure looked like he wiz in a tumbler dryer, gettin flung aboot. But...fankfoolee, hee pure bounced oot the udder end, and he wiz still alive, az swear hee wiz! Well he wiz still alive until the second and furd car hit him!! Buy noo, ma Mum iz neerlee pure greetin, coz wan fing ma Mum reelee hates tae see iz deed aneemals. So shee pure screetches tae a halt and pure diz hur Lindfurd Christie impersunatshon. Well wit ah meen by that, iz ewe ken how when marafon runners pure starts a race they kinda gets doon on wan knee, well that iz wit ah means buy sayin ma Mum wiz like Lindfurd Christie - coz shee canny run and by the time shee got back tae where the burd wiz, shee wiz on hur knees. Noo the wee burd, az will call him RR fur short, that stands fur Road Runner - and standin wiz mare than the burd wiz dane!. Hee wiz pure lying on the road lookin like hee had bin hit by aboot free cars or sumfin. So ma Mum picks him up and pure carried him tae hur car. Hee wiznae happee aboot thiz, az finks hee had herd aboot ma Mums drivin, and hee pure tried tae bite hur. Cool eh? Ma Mum had pure hunners of blood on hur hands frum the wee burd.
When shee got tae the vets, shee pure asked the vet (The Vet is called Donald, but befour ewes ask, hees no a Duck), if the burd could bee saved, and if it couldnae cood hee pure day the rite fing by the burd and pit it tae sleep. Noo the vets nurse pure said check oot the nick of him, but turns oot shee wiz talkin aboot RR an no Donald the Vet. Donald said tae ma Mum usually if a burd iz like pure runnin, there is sumfin rong wiff it and it turned oot that the RR had bin runnin on hiz knees - how cool iz that, az will get Mollee tae try that later. Anyways, Donald reckoned that RR could bee saved and ma Mum wiz rite happee. So hee wiz givin sum medisin by the Vet and pit in a box fur tae get better. Cool eh? Noo az hopes that RR haz pure learned hiz lesson that ewes should always look lefft befour going like the clappers across the road. So next times ewes sees a burd in ewer gerdin, check oot its knees and see if hees haz any sss..cars, coz it may just bee Road Runner.
take care, az will be back soon, love fae big Presley the King xxxx
Friday, 5 September 2008
Heed bangurs
Noo ewes all ken mee, az iz a lover an no a fighter. Az am a fillosifer an a finker. Az always tries tae avoid bean pollitikal, but sumtimes az gets pure angree wiff peepells, and over the past foo munffs az have bin rite cheesed off buy hoomans beehavewer.
See noo fing iz, sum hoomans finks az am daft, but that iz jizt no the case, az am rite cliver.
Noo ewes all ken aboot the aboose sum aneemals suffer at the hands of hoomans an that iz so rang. Az finks they do thiz coz a lot of hoomans brains are located in there bums. See frum ma point of view, ma view iz usually of hoomans bums, coz az am tall, so az haz a rite good advantage an az pure sees and heers wits goin on.
Let mee explains wit az meens. Over the past foo munffs az have seen hoomans make out theys are pure good pals wiff udder hoomans. But the troof iz that sum of they hoomans are pure bean rite nastee aboot there pals tae udder pals, jist tae coz trubble. Then ewes gets hoomans who are no nastee and udder hoomans see thiz az a weekness and pure make them oot tae bee bad peepells. Ewes do peepells a good turn but ewe dont expeckt tae bee given monee in return. Thats jizt no rite. Ewes all ken the sayin that the more ewes do fur peepells the less ewes iz appreesheeated. Well, az kens that the more sum peepells coz trubbles, the more udder peepells finks theys are grate!! Hoomans only listen wiff one eer, thats coz so much iz comin oot there bottoms!! Ewe heers sumwon iz doin rite well fur themselves, and good peepells finks 'thats pure dead brilliant'. But a lot of nastee peepells who see sumwon dane well fur themselves and finks 'thats no pure dead brilliant and az will pure boolee them until theys are no dane well fur themselves'. Noo wit iz all that aboot???
The hole hooman world haz gone pure nuts. A lot of ewes seems tae fink that if ewes are nastee ewes will get on in thiz world and bee rite liked. Well az have got noos fur all the nastee hoomans oot there. Ewes should sit doon wan day, maybees in a gardin or sumfin, and look around ewes and rememburs that if ewes cannae do sumwon a good turn, dont dae them a bad turn. Ewes are no oot of thiz world yet and az pure kens that wit goes around comes around. Like when ma Mollee eets a poo, az pure kens it will turn up again!!
Jizt rememburs, good peepells dont have tae do anyfin fur tae repay nastee peepells, one day bad fings will happin tae the nastee peepells. An wit chance diz sum dogs have in life if hoomans cannae even treet udder hoomans wiff respect? One day theys will pure come unstuck. Like two dugs who diznae play leep frog rite!!
See ma Mollee eets hur dinner an then shee pure comes an eets mine. Noo fing iz, az can eiver a) act like a bad hooman an growl and bite hur or b) az finks tae masell - ewe pure wire in Mollee, coz if shee eets too much dinner shee cannae run away fae mee when az plays leep frog wiff hur.
Ewes hoomans wunder whys wee dugs only have a short life in thiz mateereal world, well let mee tells ewes, the ansur iz staring ewes in the face.. start finkin like a dug and pure enjoy ever minit of ewer life and stop spendin ewer life bean nastee tae udder peepells, espeshallee the wons ewe fink of az ewer pals. Wees have a short life coz wees love everybuddee and wees dont do nastee fings tae wur pals behind there backs.
Moral of ma storee iz, sit back and take a good long look at wits ewes iz all aboot az hoomans, an maybee, jist maybees, if ewes start tae treet udder hoomans properlee, ewe jist mite get the chance tae come back intae this world next time az a Pedigree Lurcher and no a hooman.
Love fae big Presley the fillosifer and finker.
Love tae all ma babes xx
See noo fing iz, sum hoomans finks az am daft, but that iz jizt no the case, az am rite cliver.
Noo ewes all ken aboot the aboose sum aneemals suffer at the hands of hoomans an that iz so rang. Az finks they do thiz coz a lot of hoomans brains are located in there bums. See frum ma point of view, ma view iz usually of hoomans bums, coz az am tall, so az haz a rite good advantage an az pure sees and heers wits goin on.
Let mee explains wit az meens. Over the past foo munffs az have seen hoomans make out theys are pure good pals wiff udder hoomans. But the troof iz that sum of they hoomans are pure bean rite nastee aboot there pals tae udder pals, jist tae coz trubble. Then ewes gets hoomans who are no nastee and udder hoomans see thiz az a weekness and pure make them oot tae bee bad peepells. Ewes do peepells a good turn but ewe dont expeckt tae bee given monee in return. Thats jizt no rite. Ewes all ken the sayin that the more ewes do fur peepells the less ewes iz appreesheeated. Well, az kens that the more sum peepells coz trubbles, the more udder peepells finks theys are grate!! Hoomans only listen wiff one eer, thats coz so much iz comin oot there bottoms!! Ewe heers sumwon iz doin rite well fur themselves, and good peepells finks 'thats pure dead brilliant'. But a lot of nastee peepells who see sumwon dane well fur themselves and finks 'thats no pure dead brilliant and az will pure boolee them until theys are no dane well fur themselves'. Noo wit iz all that aboot???
The hole hooman world haz gone pure nuts. A lot of ewes seems tae fink that if ewes are nastee ewes will get on in thiz world and bee rite liked. Well az have got noos fur all the nastee hoomans oot there. Ewes should sit doon wan day, maybees in a gardin or sumfin, and look around ewes and rememburs that if ewes cannae do sumwon a good turn, dont dae them a bad turn. Ewes are no oot of thiz world yet and az pure kens that wit goes around comes around. Like when ma Mollee eets a poo, az pure kens it will turn up again!!
Jizt rememburs, good peepells dont have tae do anyfin fur tae repay nastee peepells, one day bad fings will happin tae the nastee peepells. An wit chance diz sum dogs have in life if hoomans cannae even treet udder hoomans wiff respect? One day theys will pure come unstuck. Like two dugs who diznae play leep frog rite!!
See ma Mollee eets hur dinner an then shee pure comes an eets mine. Noo fing iz, az can eiver a) act like a bad hooman an growl and bite hur or b) az finks tae masell - ewe pure wire in Mollee, coz if shee eets too much dinner shee cannae run away fae mee when az plays leep frog wiff hur.
Ewes hoomans wunder whys wee dugs only have a short life in thiz mateereal world, well let mee tells ewes, the ansur iz staring ewes in the face.. start finkin like a dug and pure enjoy ever minit of ewer life and stop spendin ewer life bean nastee tae udder peepells, espeshallee the wons ewe fink of az ewer pals. Wees have a short life coz wees love everybuddee and wees dont do nastee fings tae wur pals behind there backs.
Moral of ma storee iz, sit back and take a good long look at wits ewes iz all aboot az hoomans, an maybee, jist maybees, if ewes start tae treet udder hoomans properlee, ewe jist mite get the chance tae come back intae this world next time az a Pedigree Lurcher and no a hooman.
Love fae big Presley the fillosifer and finker.
Love tae all ma babes xx
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