Hullo all ewes, sorree ah have no bin on hear fur a while, but fing is, ma Mum has bean bizzee wiff work and fings and am no aloud on the compootar when she is working.
But ah have tae tell ewes about the most SOCKING fing ah have seen in ma hole life.
Ewe all kens ah like Lams and this is the times all the Lams are in the feelds. Well ah wiz oot in the car wiff Mollee and ma Mum - ma Mum wiz driving, cos it wiz her turn tae drive. Anyway, ah says "Oh Mollee look at all they pure dead brilliant lams" and wee were reel happee tae see them. Well, the nexx day wee wiz back oot in the car and wee seen the same Lams, but ewes will no beeleeve wit had happined to them. Dooring the nite someone had pure only gone and VANDALISED them, Ah swear that is the troof!!! Theys were all covered in Graffeetee!!! Sum had red numbers ritten on thems in red paint.
Ah says tae ma Mollee that wiz the most socking thing ah had ever seen in the hole of ma life.
Who wid do sutch a bad fing to little Lams? Am no sure, but if ah ever see's who dun that to the Lams ah will report thems to the Pollis. Mollee wiz pure crying in the car when she seen wit happined to them Lams and ah fink she wanted to try and clean them, cos she wiz like pure licking her lips just looking at them. Ah fink this eggsperience has affected mee mentally and ah fink ah will have to go fur sum professional help to get over it.
If any of ewes kens who wid do sutch a bad fing to a Lam, will ewes pleese let me no and ah will reports thems to the Pollis. Fank Ewe, lots of love a very disturbed King Presley and wee Smalllee - thats ma noo name for Mollee Wallee!!
Thursday, 22 April 2010
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Fessant Plucker!
One day Mollee fot she herd sumone saying that our hooman Dad was a Fessant Plucker, but ah fot they said sumfin else. Anyways, today a Fessant came to wur door and Mollee fot it wiz wantin ma Dad to pluck it redee fur summer times. As ewes can see ma Dad sent it packin, so ah guess
Mollee wiz rong, ma Dad is no a Fessant Plucker and ah herd rite. LOL xx
Mollee wiz rong, ma Dad is no a Fessant Plucker and ah herd rite. LOL xxTuesday, 12 January 2010
Happee Noo Yeers!!
Happee New Years to all ma Babes and the udders who reeds ma blog.
Hullo all ewes, am sorree ah have no bean around, but ah prefers to play in the snow wiff ma Mollee than sit at ma compootar. Ah have also bean in the cooler again, cos ah stole a chokolatt cake and did a foo udder fings that are no even wurff menshonin.
We have an ex foster cat living wiff us just now - her name is Smokee - she is cool, but she is only hear fur a holidae! Eye ah swear that is the troof - who in the rite mind wid want tae come tae Lan Ark Open Prizon fur a holidae! The cat is pure barkin mad if ewes ask mee.
Wee have lots of eggsiteting fings arranged fur this yeer and ah will tells ewes all aboot them as they happens. I'm no wantin ewes to get too eggsited yet, so ewes will have to wate. Wan fing ah can tell ewes is that ma Feeonsee is still winnin everyfin at the dog shows and our 'love child' Coal Man has bean in a dog show. He wiz pure the bizzness and he is the wan tae watch in the footure.
Noo ah wid like to wiss ma Antee Noras a HAPPEE BIRFFDAY, noo its no her birffday until Fursday, but am no soor wit am dane on Fursday and ah dont want tae miss it.
Ma Mum is working hard on writing lots of pet fings so thats cool and ma Dad is working hard wiff udder fings. Ma Big bruvers and ma big Sistur Roobee, they is no working hard, theys is just loving life.
Mum and Dad have booked their holleedays, but its no fur a long times yet, so ah have plentee of times to arrange ma partees, with ma babes!!
Ah will speek soon and maybee's even tell ewes a foo funnee storees.
Love fae Big Presley the King xx
Hullo all ewes, am sorree ah have no bean around, but ah prefers to play in the snow wiff ma Mollee than sit at ma compootar. Ah have also bean in the cooler again, cos ah stole a chokolatt cake and did a foo udder fings that are no even wurff menshonin.
We have an ex foster cat living wiff us just now - her name is Smokee - she is cool, but she is only hear fur a holidae! Eye ah swear that is the troof - who in the rite mind wid want tae come tae Lan Ark Open Prizon fur a holidae! The cat is pure barkin mad if ewes ask mee.
Wee have lots of eggsiteting fings arranged fur this yeer and ah will tells ewes all aboot them as they happens. I'm no wantin ewes to get too eggsited yet, so ewes will have to wate. Wan fing ah can tell ewes is that ma Feeonsee is still winnin everyfin at the dog shows and our 'love child' Coal Man has bean in a dog show. He wiz pure the bizzness and he is the wan tae watch in the footure.
Noo ah wid like to wiss ma Antee Noras a HAPPEE BIRFFDAY, noo its no her birffday until Fursday, but am no soor wit am dane on Fursday and ah dont want tae miss it.
Ma Mum is working hard on writing lots of pet fings so thats cool and ma Dad is working hard wiff udder fings. Ma Big bruvers and ma big Sistur Roobee, they is no working hard, theys is just loving life.
Mum and Dad have booked their holleedays, but its no fur a long times yet, so ah have plentee of times to arrange ma partees, with ma babes!!
Ah will speek soon and maybee's even tell ewes a foo funnee storees.
Love fae Big Presley the King xx
Wednesday, 23 December 2009
Hullo all ewes oot there
This is what a fink wee will bee doing on Kissmass Day.
04.30am Ma Dad will get up - no beecos HE is Santa Paws, but cos he will go tae work. Mee and Mollee will spends sum time in the exercise yard looking fur yellow snow cos this may bee eveedense of Rane Dears!
Noo if we find eveedense, ah will shout at the top of ma voice 'SANTA PAWS HAS BEAN'!!
This serves no purrpuss, udder than to annoy the nayburs kids - cos Santa Paws may not have bean to there hoose by that time.
06.30am Ma Mum will get up and the big dogs (Mac, Roobee, Wizzee and Bazil) will go and look fur eveedense of Rane Dears - but they will no find any cos, wee will have looked first and hid all eveedense!!
08.30am Wee will be moved from the Turd Cell to the Living Rooms to watch Lassee on tellys - Mollee always like a good cry on Kissmass Day.
15:00 This is when ah doo ma Kissmass speesh, and ah fank everybuddee fur a rite nice yeer. Ah also remembers all those who has a horreebell ehnnus. Thats latin fur sore back bottom. Wee sumtimes goes to the park, but am no sure if wee's will, cos ma Mum mite be called oot tae work.
20:00 Dad will come home tae see his Turkee - Mollee says am no aloud tae call Mum that, but that is the troof, and ah always tells ewe the troof. Last Kissmass mum and dad had a joint fur there kissmass, so ah will need to check and see if there is tin foil fur them tae use!
21:00 Mee and Mollee will get wur Kissmass dinner. Ah fink wee are havin, Deed Prawns followed by, mare Deed Fish and Rice wiff Phillips Steak, followed by a little sweet tart - (oh Mollee, where are ewe?).
Frew out the day, ah will see how many of ma Mum and Dads noo Kissmass presents that ah can choo - ah likes to do that, cos they pool rite funnee faces when they see's wit ah have dun.
22:00 Mee and Mollee will go back tae the turd cell and go tae wur beds - lites on. Eye, ewes fot ah wiz goin tae say lites off, but fing is this, fur punishment they leafs a little lite on, so that mee and Mollee cannee sleeps.
That is what mee and Mollee will bee doin on Kissmass day - cool eh?.
So ah hopes ewe all has a rite nice time toomorrow and ah hopes Santa Paws brings ewe all the fings that ewes dont need.
Pee Ess, Wee is playing a trick on Wizzee and wee have no telt him that its Kissmass - he finks its just an udder day at the Lan Ark open prizon. Noo wate wan minit befour ewes fink wee is reel bad. Cos fing is, last Kissmass wee had tae call oot the vet fur Wizzee, so wee dont want him too have nite mares remembering that. So, no noo collar or present frum Santa Paws fur him!!!.
Love fae Big Presley tae all ma beetches - have a rite nice Kissmass.
This is what a fink wee will bee doing on Kissmass Day.
04.30am Ma Dad will get up - no beecos HE is Santa Paws, but cos he will go tae work. Mee and Mollee will spends sum time in the exercise yard looking fur yellow snow cos this may bee eveedense of Rane Dears!
Noo if we find eveedense, ah will shout at the top of ma voice 'SANTA PAWS HAS BEAN'!!
This serves no purrpuss, udder than to annoy the nayburs kids - cos Santa Paws may not have bean to there hoose by that time.
06.30am Ma Mum will get up and the big dogs (Mac, Roobee, Wizzee and Bazil) will go and look fur eveedense of Rane Dears - but they will no find any cos, wee will have looked first and hid all eveedense!!
08.30am Wee will be moved from the Turd Cell to the Living Rooms to watch Lassee on tellys - Mollee always like a good cry on Kissmass Day.
15:00 This is when ah doo ma Kissmass speesh, and ah fank everybuddee fur a rite nice yeer. Ah also remembers all those who has a horreebell ehnnus. Thats latin fur sore back bottom. Wee sumtimes goes to the park, but am no sure if wee's will, cos ma Mum mite be called oot tae work.
20:00 Dad will come home tae see his Turkee - Mollee says am no aloud tae call Mum that, but that is the troof, and ah always tells ewe the troof. Last Kissmass mum and dad had a joint fur there kissmass, so ah will need to check and see if there is tin foil fur them tae use!
21:00 Mee and Mollee will get wur Kissmass dinner. Ah fink wee are havin, Deed Prawns followed by, mare Deed Fish and Rice wiff Phillips Steak, followed by a little sweet tart - (oh Mollee, where are ewe?).
Frew out the day, ah will see how many of ma Mum and Dads noo Kissmass presents that ah can choo - ah likes to do that, cos they pool rite funnee faces when they see's wit ah have dun.
22:00 Mee and Mollee will go back tae the turd cell and go tae wur beds - lites on. Eye, ewes fot ah wiz goin tae say lites off, but fing is this, fur punishment they leafs a little lite on, so that mee and Mollee cannee sleeps.
That is what mee and Mollee will bee doin on Kissmass day - cool eh?.
So ah hopes ewe all has a rite nice time toomorrow and ah hopes Santa Paws brings ewe all the fings that ewes dont need.
Pee Ess, Wee is playing a trick on Wizzee and wee have no telt him that its Kissmass - he finks its just an udder day at the Lan Ark open prizon. Noo wate wan minit befour ewes fink wee is reel bad. Cos fing is, last Kissmass wee had tae call oot the vet fur Wizzee, so wee dont want him too have nite mares remembering that. So, no noo collar or present frum Santa Paws fur him!!!.
Love fae Big Presley tae all ma beetches - have a rite nice Kissmass.
Monday, 21 December 2009
Socklng Storee!
Hullo all ewes oot there, ah hopes ewes is looking forward to Santa Paws coming, cos mee and Mollee are. Ah sent ma list to him a foo weeks ago - ewes need to get in errlee, udder wise he will run oot of fings.
Anyways ah will tell ewe a socking storee and ah swear this is the troof. Last Sundae mee and Mollee and ma Mum and Dad wur dressed up like turkee's fur Kissmass in wur Santa Paws Soots and wee's went tae Princess Street in Edinburger fur tae colleck monee's fur all the Greyhounds at Royal Heart Greyhound Rescoo.
Noo fing is this, all the Pawperattsee were oot in their hunners taking picktoors of mee, ah wiz pure mobbed by all ma fannee's, so that wiz cool. But then SOCK!! Ewes will no beeleeve this, but nexx fing ah pure see's an udder black dog who wiz dressed sames as mee!! Eye that is troo, there is pure a King Presley IMPAWSTER on the loose in Edinburger.
He wiz standing in the shop window of ma Mums favorite shop Jenners looking oot at mee, wissing he wiz mee!!
Ah says 'hey, ewe is an impawster of mee', and he pure just stared back at mee.
So ah pure shouted at him and telt him to get himsell tae F....... (Faraway that is). Ewes will no beeleeve wit he did, he pure shouted back at me, telling me tae get masell tae Faraway in the same shout as ah do!
Antee Jennifurs and ma Mum pure laffed at this, but this wiz no funnee, coz this impawster cood move in on ma No.1 Beetches saying hee wiz mee when he wiznae mee.
This picktoor shows ewe mee pure looking at him standing in Jenners window. Ma Mollee says it wiz ma refleckshon, but ah dont want a refleckshon impersonating mee.
Pee Ess, Pleese do not give monee to this impawster or tell him witch buzz to take to see ma Feeonsee and Love Child. Fank Ewe. xx
Anyways ah will tell ewe a socking storee and ah swear this is the troof. Last Sundae mee and Mollee and ma Mum and Dad wur dressed up like turkee's fur Kissmass in wur Santa Paws Soots and wee's went tae Princess Street in Edinburger fur tae colleck monee's fur all the Greyhounds at Royal Heart Greyhound Rescoo.
Noo fing is this, all the Pawperattsee were oot in their hunners taking picktoors of mee, ah wiz pure mobbed by all ma fannee's, so that wiz cool. But then SOCK!! Ewes will no beeleeve this, but nexx fing ah pure see's an udder black dog who wiz dressed sames as mee!! Eye that is troo, there is pure a King Presley IMPAWSTER on the loose in Edinburger.
He wiz standing in the shop window of ma Mums favorite shop Jenners looking oot at mee, wissing he wiz mee!!
Ah says 'hey, ewe is an impawster of mee', and he pure just stared back at mee.
So ah pure shouted at him and telt him to get himsell tae F....... (Faraway that is). Ewes will no beeleeve wit he did, he pure shouted back at me, telling me tae get masell tae Faraway in the same shout as ah do!
Antee Jennifurs and ma Mum pure laffed at this, but this wiz no funnee, coz this impawster cood move in on ma No.1 Beetches saying hee wiz mee when he wiznae mee.
This picktoor shows ewe mee pure looking at him standing in Jenners window. Ma Mollee says it wiz ma refleckshon, but ah dont want a refleckshon impersonating mee.
Pee Ess, Pleese do not give monee to this impawster or tell him witch buzz to take to see ma Feeonsee and Love Child. Fank Ewe. xx
Tuesday, 15 December 2009
Deer Rag ma Feeonsee
See mee ah pure loves Kissmass, sept fur one fing, i'll no bee wiff ma Feeonsee Rag. So ah have rit a song fur hur. If ewes wid like tae sing along, ewe should sing ma wurds to the song
Kissmass Wiff Out Ewe by Dollee Parton and Kenny Rodgers
Kissmass wiff out ewe
S...te kissmass and am bloo
Like a greyhound needing the loo
Kissmass wiff out ewe
The fireplace keeps burning and ma fotts keep turning
The pages of ma memorees of time spent wiff ewe
Old kssmass snogs we knew, and bent polleese too
Make it hard to get used to, Kissmass wiff out ewe
Kissmass wiff out ewe
S....te kissmass and am bloo
I love ewe, I miss ewe
So sad but troo
Kissmass wiff out ewe
Like a horse wiff no shoes
Like ma Mum wiff no booze
Kissmass wiff oot ewe
Love frum big Presley the King xxx
Kissmass Wiff Out Ewe by Dollee Parton and Kenny Rodgers
Kissmass wiff out ewe
S...te kissmass and am bloo
Like a greyhound needing the loo
Kissmass wiff out ewe
The fireplace keeps burning and ma fotts keep turning
The pages of ma memorees of time spent wiff ewe
Old kssmass snogs we knew, and bent polleese too
Make it hard to get used to, Kissmass wiff out ewe
Kissmass wiff out ewe
S....te kissmass and am bloo
I love ewe, I miss ewe
So sad but troo
Kissmass wiff out ewe
Like a horse wiff no shoes
Like ma Mum wiff no booze
Kissmass wiff oot ewe
Love frum big Presley the King xxx
Sunday, 13 December 2009
ASBO at last!!
Hullo all ewes oot there,
Grate Noo's, at last ma Mum and Dad have had an ASBO slapped on thems in public fur bean BAD peepells. Ah swear this is the troof!!!. Mollee is reel upsets, but see mee, ah fink its cool!!
See fing is this, ma Mum let mee use the compootur again, and ah wiz pure postin fings on a charratee forum, fur tae cheer peepells up and tells thems how a dog finks - rite, then ma Dad puts on a videeoh, of mee and Mollee in wur Santa Paws geer. Nexx fing sum 'Richard' (also kent as Dick), comes on and says she finks it looks two RUFF, and hoped that mee and Mollee did not suss-tane seerioss In-jew-rees!! Noo fing is, this 'Richard', does not post mutch on this forum, so ah finks, this is a pure 'Richard' posting!! She pure kens nuffin aboot mee and Mollee! Noo fing is this.... see if wee's wur a danger too eeach udder or two sumone else, ma Mum wid bee pure upset, but see mee, am no scaree, udder wise ah wid no have Big Mac, and Ikea as boddee guards. So ah has bean tryin to consoll ma Mollee and ah says ah will pure bite Richard nexx time ah see's hur fur tryin tae give mee and ma Mollee ah complexshon.
Ah does not like peepells who do fings like that and ah will no let ma Mollee feel bad.
Am no bovered wit peepells finks of mee - cos am the King - but no tae upset ma Mollee.
So, tae that 'Richard' who posted that doggee poo (udder wise known as CRAP), why dont ewe go away and get a life, or come an watch Mollee reelee given mee a tankin! Ah fink the wumin who posted on that forum said wee's were RUFF cos she wiz lookin in the MIRROR an no watchin ma Videeoh!
Love tae all ma fannee's frum Big Presley the King xxxxxxx.
Grate Noo's, at last ma Mum and Dad have had an ASBO slapped on thems in public fur bean BAD peepells. Ah swear this is the troof!!!. Mollee is reel upsets, but see mee, ah fink its cool!!
See fing is this, ma Mum let mee use the compootur again, and ah wiz pure postin fings on a charratee forum, fur tae cheer peepells up and tells thems how a dog finks - rite, then ma Dad puts on a videeoh, of mee and Mollee in wur Santa Paws geer. Nexx fing sum 'Richard' (also kent as Dick), comes on and says she finks it looks two RUFF, and hoped that mee and Mollee did not suss-tane seerioss In-jew-rees!! Noo fing is, this 'Richard', does not post mutch on this forum, so ah finks, this is a pure 'Richard' posting!! She pure kens nuffin aboot mee and Mollee! Noo fing is this.... see if wee's wur a danger too eeach udder or two sumone else, ma Mum wid bee pure upset, but see mee, am no scaree, udder wise ah wid no have Big Mac, and Ikea as boddee guards. So ah has bean tryin to consoll ma Mollee and ah says ah will pure bite Richard nexx time ah see's hur fur tryin tae give mee and ma Mollee ah complexshon.
Ah does not like peepells who do fings like that and ah will no let ma Mollee feel bad.
Am no bovered wit peepells finks of mee - cos am the King - but no tae upset ma Mollee.
So, tae that 'Richard' who posted that doggee poo (udder wise known as CRAP), why dont ewe go away and get a life, or come an watch Mollee reelee given mee a tankin! Ah fink the wumin who posted on that forum said wee's were RUFF cos she wiz lookin in the MIRROR an no watchin ma Videeoh!
Love tae all ma fannee's frum Big Presley the King xxxxxxx.
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