Me and the Molls had been really good for a couple of hours, probably cos wee's wur sleepin, but Mum & Dad said that they wiz gona take us oot for the day! Oot came the chastity belts and me and the Molls got taken ootside the front of the prison, that was real cool. What the ...... is that...... only a pet hearse!!! Oh No.....Molls, wee's wiznae sleepin, wee's were deed!! That got mee's thinkin, maybe I wisnae a prizoner, maybe wee's wiz deed and wee's woz like ghosts or somefin! Ma Molls looked like she'd seen a ghost when wee's were bundled into the pet hearse!! Then as says to Molls, listen Molls, wee's canny be deed otherwise wee's would be white or seefrew! And as a am black, and ewe is brown wee's canny be ghosts, so wee's must still be alive......it didnae matter, this was hell wearing this chastity belt!
I couldnae see very well out the windays and Mum said it was coz theys were blackened out, so that no one could see in. How cool is that....just like ma pal Ali G had in his car! Mum then opened the winday a bit soz me and the Molls could get some fresh air! I guess Dad must have been pumpin again! Anyways, ah stuck ma heed oot the winday, and shouted abuse at all the dugs as seen walkin up the road. The look on their faces when theys seen I woz in a Pet Hearse, but wiznae deed, was sooooooooo funnee!! I hudnae laughed this much since Mollee came off the LSD!! Large Swinging Dryer.
Wee's finally arrived at a big park place, as hoped wee's wiznae in a cemetery, but no it wiznae, and there was millions of beetches here.....hey man, as have arrived...me Big Presley...no dont all crowd round at the wan time, cos as no brought ma security. All the beetches wiz wantin ma pawtograph!! What the ......., the dugs are sticking their heeds up ma back bottom, looking for ma crown jewells!! Get yersells to ........, as no into dugs, as only into ma beetches. Ma Molls wiznae happee wiff all the beetches comin up to me, as thinks she is jealous.....good...cos that way, she will let me play leep frog wit her when wee's go back to prizon.
Next thing as knows is ma Mum is leeding me into a ring....a show ring....yeah man whey to go......Big Presley has arrived!! No...hud on wait a minute.....its a MONGREL show....as no MONGREL!! As is Presley the King of Pedigree Lurchers. Nae wonder Molls isnae allowed in, coz she is so far up her ain back bottom, cos she is a PEDIGREE BEETCH. Some bampot who calls hersel a judge is feelin me all over.....ger yersel to .........! I didnae need a two legged beetch, when as got the Molls. What the ...... ma Mum, is takin me back oot the ring, sayin "it doesnt matter Presley, its the taking part that counts". What the ......, does she mean.....have a no WON!! They didnae ken wit they wur doin the whole lot of them, cos as is the best looking Pedigree Mongrel at the show.
Some young pup, that looks like a wolf, jumped up on me and wiz trying to kiss me.......YUCK..... ....., az iz wiff ma beetch the Molls. Me and the Molls right enjoyed oor day oot in the Pet Hearse, wee's were laffin all the way home. I then realised that a hudnae tried to escape....., az just missed a right good chance. Never mind, as lookin forward to ma game of leep frog with ma beetch Molls.
Tomorrow as gona tell you about me finding a dug in ooor gerden!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment