Hullo all ewes out their. I hate this xmas thing, coz ewes have all forgotten wit its awa aboot. Noo let me tells ewes awe somfin, and az swear tae ma sell this is true. Ewes are awe runnin aboot stoopid, like somfin demented, buyin presents fur folks ewes dont even ken. (Who is Ken???) Anyways, ewes have all forgotten wit xmas is all aboot. Get reel and get back tae the basic story of wit it iz ewes are meant tae be, celebate. Noo ewes is awe meant tae be celebateing the birth of the KING. Noo az dont ken how many times az have to tell ewes there iz only wan KING. So, if awe ewes beetches wid like tae send mees a present fur tae celebate my birffday, pleese send me cheques made payable tae Big Presley the Pedigree Lurcher, HMS Open PL Prison, Lan Ark, az iz sure the postie will find me, coz hees is the wan that delivers awe ma fan mail.
Az iz sorry this wiz short toonite, but az iz real tired, coz ma burd Mollee, tried tae get uz oor ane Parrott fur wur prison, well it wiznae like a real Parrot, it wiz like aw wan colour, and hee wiz Black, but by the time she carried him intae oor prison, he wiz deed. So, me and Molls iz going tae huff tae bury him alang way oor 84 deed Mr Jingles. Ma Mollee husnae mastered catchin us a Pet and bringing them tae oor prison cell as yet. But wan day she will.
Me and Molls are away tae wur beds, withoot oor ane PET again!! Diz anybuddy have a spare pet theys wid like uz tae look efter?? Coz wee wid love oor ane Pet.
Big Presley haz gone fur a sleep, night night, love tae awe ma beetches, dream aboot me!! xx
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