Its Mee hear Big Presser!!

Hullo all ewes, ah hope ewer noo yeer is going betters than mine - ah have spent the past foo weeks in the Cooler again, ah swear thats the troof. Eye ah no, ewes just cannee beeleeve it, but its troo. See fing is this, ah havenae dun anyfin too terrible, ah have just bean mee! Mum says its to do wiff 666 - ma age this yeer, mollees age this yeer and wur cats name!
Mum has bean pure dead bizzee wiff work fings and shee has no bean well, but if she wont go to the Vet she will just have to stay ill.
Anyways ah have just sneeked oot the turd cell doon the hall to post this letter to ewe, cos ah knew everybuddee is missing mee. Ah have also got ma ane facebook page now, so thats cool, its beets ma Mum watchin everyfin a rite. Hundreds of peepells have contackted mee asking fur help wiff there spelling, cos they cannee spell rite, so mee bean mee, says ah wood help - lets face it, the yooff of today need to be tott proper Engerlish, cos they dont seem to be tott rite at school. Thats ma noo misshon in life today, to teech proper spelling. Mollee finks ah shood bye a dickshonary, but I'm sure I'll get bye if ah get stuck on big long wurds.
Well ah must get back into ma cell, all ma cells mates are doing reel well, especially ma sister Roobee, she is a pure babe. Bazil Brush is still fat, Big Mac is also fat, and wee Stanlee the cat is also fat - but see mee, ah wiz built fur speed - just like a Greyhound or Lurcher. Wate wan minit, ah am a Lurcher!! Oh well thats good, that meens a look like ah shood.
Rite I'm away, hugs to all ma babes, and just fink - Leap Frog Seeson is just around the corner :-) xx Love frum Presley the King xxxx