Wit a load of Bool

Az haz bin so bizzee wiff doin udder fings az haz no had a chance tae speek tae ewes, but pure loads haz happined tae mee. Az haznae stopped laffin fur ages and noo az haz belly ake. See wit happined wiz thiz. Ma Mum pure got her hair all dun rite nice fur tae go tae work - az diznae ken wit all that iz aboot, ah meen, its not like anybuddee reeelee cares. Anyways, off shee pure goes and iz like drivin doon the road dane hur Rhoda in hur Skoda impersunashon. Next fing she sees sum coos, then shee pure looked again and seen udders. There wiz aboot 200 of them walkin doon a lane towards the road. Noo see, fing iz, ma Mum wiz rite worried that theys wid bee hurted by a car or a lorree, so shee stops and sees a lite on in a hoose. Shee drove up tae the hoose and an old wumin opened the door. Ma Mum telt hur that she had seen a coo and sum udders walkin doon the lane. The poor wumin neerlee had a pure hart attack and ran fae hur hoose, followed in hot purrsoot by ma Mum. It turns oot that thiz wumin wiz the mother of the fermer who owned the coos. Ma Mum felt rite sorree fur the wumin coz shee wiz aboot 90 yeers old. The wumin that iz, no ma Mum - az finks ma Mum iz only 80 sumfin. Anyways, ma Mum pure runs doon the hill tae the lane and stopped the traffick, befour any coos got hit. Then shee pure gives it hur best impersunatshun of Farmer Giles, and shouts at the coos Shoe, Shoe, and they pure stared at hur like she wiz a nut job! Noo ma Mum iz no wan tae bee intimmadated buy a load of coos, so shee walked rite up tae them and says shoe ya daft moo. Cool eh? Noo ma Mum finks they kent shee wiz an undertaker coz they pure ran back intae there feeld. But az finks ma Mum jizt got two close and pure frightened the life oot of them wae a face like hurs an it wiz rainin so ma Mums hare wiz all over the place buy noo . The wee auld wumin fanked ma Mum fur awe hur help and ma Mum says, az didnae fink it wiz rite fur coos tae bee walkin doon tae the road. An the auld wumin said, theys iz no coos, theys iz bools!! Well the look on ma Mums face wiz pure dead brilliant, man az fots shee had seen a ghost. Bools, Bools, that iz so pure funnee. Well it wid have bin if ma Mum hud bin wearin a red jacket. So the moral of ma storee iz thiz. If ewes sees coos walkin doon the road, jizt remembur tae look underneef them, coz theys may be the udder kind of coo - a Bool.
Mee and Mollee iz still laffin coz ma Mum diznae ken a coo fae a Bool!!
Love tae all ma babes, and espeshally ma babe Rag who haz pure quallified fae Crufts again.
Love fae Big Presley the fillosifer. xx