Heed bangurs

Noo ewes all ken mee, az iz a lover an no a fighter. Az am a fillosifer an a finker. Az always tries tae avoid bean pollitikal, but sumtimes az gets pure angree wiff peepells, and over the past foo munffs az have bin rite cheesed off buy hoomans beehavewer.
See noo fing iz, sum hoomans finks az am daft, but that iz jizt no the case, az am rite cliver.
Noo ewes all ken aboot the aboose sum aneemals suffer at the hands of hoomans an that iz so rang. Az finks they do thiz coz a lot of hoomans brains are located in there bums. See frum ma point of view, ma view iz usually of hoomans bums, coz az am tall, so az haz a rite good advantage an az pure sees and heers wits goin on.
Let mee explains wit az meens. Over the past foo munffs az have seen hoomans make out theys are pure good pals wiff udder hoomans. But the troof iz that sum of they hoomans are pure bean rite nastee aboot there pals tae udder pals, jist tae coz trubble. Then ewes gets hoomans who are no nastee and udder hoomans see thiz az a weekness and pure make them oot tae bee bad peepells. Ewes do peepells a good turn but ewe dont expeckt tae bee given monee in return. Thats jizt no rite. Ewes all ken the sayin that the more ewes do fur peepells the less ewes iz appreesheeated. Well, az kens that the more sum peepells coz trubbles, the more udder peepells finks theys are grate!! Hoomans only listen wiff one eer, thats coz so much iz comin oot there bottoms!! Ewe heers sumwon iz doin rite well fur themselves, and good peepells finks 'thats pure dead brilliant'. But a lot of nastee peepells who see sumwon dane well fur themselves and finks 'thats no pure dead brilliant and az will pure boolee them until theys are no dane well fur themselves'. Noo wit iz all that aboot???
The hole hooman world haz gone pure nuts. A lot of ewes seems tae fink that if ewes are nastee ewes will get on in thiz world and bee rite liked. Well az have got noos fur all the nastee hoomans oot there. Ewes should sit doon wan day, maybees in a gardin or sumfin, and look around ewes and rememburs that if ewes cannae do sumwon a good turn, dont dae them a bad turn. Ewes are no oot of thiz world yet and az pure kens that wit goes around comes around. Like when ma Mollee eets a poo, az pure kens it will turn up again!!
Jizt rememburs, good peepells dont have tae do anyfin fur tae repay nastee peepells, one day bad fings will happin tae the nastee peepells. An wit chance diz sum dogs have in life if hoomans cannae even treet udder hoomans wiff respect? One day theys will pure come unstuck. Like two dugs who diznae play leep frog rite!!
See ma Mollee eets hur dinner an then shee pure comes an eets mine. Noo fing iz, az can eiver a) act like a bad hooman an growl and bite hur or b) az finks tae masell - ewe pure wire in Mollee, coz if shee eets too much dinner shee cannae run away fae mee when az plays leep frog wiff hur.
Ewes hoomans wunder whys wee dugs only have a short life in thiz mateereal world, well let mee tells ewes, the ansur iz staring ewes in the face.. start finkin like a dug and pure enjoy ever minit of ewer life and stop spendin ewer life bean nastee tae udder peepells, espeshallee the wons ewe fink of az ewer pals. Wees have a short life coz wees love everybuddee and wees dont do nastee fings tae wur pals behind there backs.
Moral of ma storee iz, sit back and take a good long look at wits ewes iz all aboot az hoomans, an maybee, jist maybees, if ewes start tae treet udder hoomans properlee, ewe jist mite get the chance tae come back intae this world next time az a Pedigree Lurcher and no a hooman.
Love fae big Presley the fillosifer and finker.
Love tae all ma babes xx