Wit a smashin weak wiff Bobbit

Well hullo all ewes oot there and fanks fur the nice eemales ewe send mees, az am rite glad ewes like ma blog.
Noo fing iz thiz wees haz had a smashin weak and so haz ma Dad. Noo ewe kens mee and am no wan tae laff at udder peepells missfortunes, but see sumtimes az canny help masell. On Mondays mornings my Dad went away tae hiz work. He always goes pure dead earlee in the mornings, when everybuddees iz still sleepin. He wiz neerly at Edinburger when hee decided he wid see jist how well built hiz Skoda wiz and hee fot the best wae tae find thiz oot wid bee tae like play rollee pollee across a feeld in it. So off he goes wiff the greatest off ease, flyin frew the air like he wiz on a trapeese. Hee pure rolled the car fur hunners of miles intae the forrest, geein all the aneemals that lives there a rite frite. Az swears tae masell that iz the troof. How cool wiz that? Noo he pure found out that the Skoda iz built like an army tank and apart fae the fact it wiz lyin on its side, ewes widnae ken it had jist been rolled fur hunners of miles.
So wees iz noo gettin a noo car, thats cool!
Noo if all that wiznae enuff fur wan weak, hee pure went and done the unfinkabill. Noo diz any of ewes ken wit hee did? Az will gee ewe a hint. Hee got sumfin cut off. It wiz a foo inches long and pure hung fae hiz bodee and hee haz had it all his life. Noo wate wan minnut. Ewes are no finkin rite! Wit hee did wiz get hiz poneetale cut off, az swears tae masell he pure did. Noo wit wiz all that aboot, coz noo az have noffin tae swing frum when hees iz tryin tae sit an watch telleys in piece. Az wiz rite sad tae see hee didnae have it anymores, but ma Mum pure finks hee looks rite cool wiffoot it.
Noo fur the best fing that haz ever happined tae mee in ma hole life. Az am so happee az iz neerlee cryin like ma Mollee. Az am pure goin tae meet up wiff ma bruver Aaron after all these yeers. Sum of ewes will ken that mee and Aaron were pure sepurated when wees wur puppees an az diznae ken wit became of ma bruver and ma best pal, but noo az am tae meet him again. Mee and Mollee are like pure finkin of a plan tae pure kidnapp Aaron and bring him tae live here wiff us in wur prizon cell. Az pure loves ma bruver and az will dae anyfin tae have him hear wiff me and the Mollee.
Noo for sum reelee sad noos. Ewes will all ken that az had an old pal called Mr Toby McKay, well az am sorree tae say that ma best pal died on Friday. He wiz a pure brilliant dug, loved by everyone and a reel gentleman and az will miss him very much.
Tae ma big pal Toby McKay, ewe wur one in a million, az will miss ewe always.
Sleep tight big fella.
Love fae Presley the King and Mollee Wallee. xxxx