Ma Psyco Dad!

Well hullo all ewes, its mee!
Noo ewes will all ken that az am rite cliver, thats coz am a dug and sum of ewes is only hoomans, but az am goin tae tell ewe a rite spookee storee and az swears tae masell its the troof.
See wit happined wiz thiz. Last weekend, az finks that wiz aboot free weeks ago, ma Mum and Dad says theys were away tae a workshop fur tae lern how tae talk tae the anneemals - az fots tae masell eye rite very good!! Wit diz they fink theys are Docktur Doooolittles, its mare like Docktur Doooooflaminnuffin. Anyways, off theys go's tae see ma antee JoeAnne Hull the anneemal comoonicatur tae lerns how tae dae thiz. Noo there wur like sum reel psycho meediums there, and ewe wid fink they wid bee reelee good at it. Noo ma Mum only likes tae talk tae mee and ma Mollee and sumtimes Roobee, so shee pure only got a foo fings that wur so spot on aboot the dug or cat shee wiz talkin tae. But wate fur thiz, the star of the day wiznae a reel psycho meedium, but ma very own psycho Dad. As swears tae masell its so pure troo. His reedins were so flamin accurate that even ma antee JoeAnne wiz pure flabbergasted. Noo, see fing iz, ah kens that a lot of peepells diznae beeleeve in all this and pure finks its nonsense, but see az diznae care, coz ah finks a lott of peepells oot there are off their flamin nuts, theys jizt diznae reelize it. Ma Dad iz getting picktoors sent tae him by peepells from the workshop of dugs that ma Dad diznae ken and he iz pure dane a reedin. Noo sum anneemal coomoonicaturs charges up tae £120 fur tae do thiz and ma Dad iz pure dane it in hiz sleep - jist like he diz all fings espeshally drivin. Anyways az finks thats cool, jist like hiz noo hair cut a numbur too all over!! Ah kens the times Ivor got a number two all over hiz noze but thats an udder storee.
Az wid also like tae say a rite big fank ewe tae a ladee who pure used ma Mum services reecentlee and gave a masseeve donation tae the Dugs who are no as well off az mee and mollee. ma Mum haz pure split the donation between hur favorit charitees and theys wur reel pleesed. With the credit crunchee goin on at the moment, it wiz pure rite geneross of the wumin and ma Mum wiz neerlee greetin when the wumin telt ma Mum wit shee wiz wantin tae gee them.
Anyways, az am away tae talk tae Docktur Doooooflaminnuffin.
Love fae big Presley xxx