2 out of Free anit bad.

Hullo ewes, noo az am goin tae tell ewes a pure rite funnee storee and az swears tae masell it is the troof. See wit happined wiz thiz. Rememburs az telt ewes that ma Dad pure took his car fur a bit of off road drivin a foo weeks ago only trubble wiz that wees didnae have an off road car.
Anyways, ma Mum bott a noo car the udder day. Its wan of they rite fancee cars call a turbos and it can go frum 0-6 mph, if ewe gee it a good poosh and it can day 0-60 mph frew the feelds wae ma Dad at the wheel playin rolly polly wiff it. Noo ewes will all ken that bad lucks always cums in free's, and last nite it wiz akcident numbur two. Wit happined wiz thiz. Ma Mum wiz goin tae collect ma hooman neese and neffewe, and fankfoolee she didnae have any deed pets in hur car. So shee wiz sittin in the car at the traffick lites, when she looks in hur rear view mirror and seen a bum. Noo thiz bum wiz like drivin too fast and hee pure couldnae stop in times, so hee used ma Mums car az a batterin ram fur tae stop.
Ma Mums heed wiz pure flung rite hard against the heed fing and she said it pure hurted. Next fing ma Mum herd syreens and ewes will no beeleeve wit happined next. Free polis cars, two amboolances and a docktur on a motorbike turned up. Theys took ma Mum into the amboolance and pure felt hur all over hur heed. Az finks shee liked that coz the paramedic man wiz rite handsum. So wiff that in mind, ma Mum pure pooshed hur luck and telt him that shee wiz hurtin in udder rude places so that hee wid sees to them bits two. But dont tell ma Dad that bit.
Anyways, then the poliss man says tae ma Mum have ewe bin drinkin, and ma Mum says eye az haz!!! Shee says, az had a cup of coffeee befour az left the hoose. The poliss man then says blow intae thiz fing. Az swears tae masell hee pure did. But its not wit ewes are finking. It wiz a breffaliser. Ma Mum says az haz pure seen thiz on the tellys so az ken wit az haz tae do. Ewe will no guess wit happined next. The fing wiznae working! S..... a brick!! Ma Mum wiz pure rite dizzapointed she wiznae aloud tae blow intae the mans fing.
Noo fing iz, peepells had pure laffed at ma Mum fur bye in Skodas, but it pure saved ma Dads lifes and this time the udder car pure saved ma Mums lifes. The Polliss man couldnt believe how little damage wiz done tae ma Mums car considerins how fast the man in the udder car hit hur, so noo all the Polliss are going tae bye Skodas. Noo fur anybuddee that haz pure laffed at ma Mum and called hur crazee, jist rememburs the Skoda storee......, shee is no az daft as shee wid like ewes tae fink shee iz!
Hur heed wiznae hurted coz ewe canny hurt wood, but wee's will need tae get wur car tae the garage tae bee fixed, coz that wiznae made of wood.
That iz ma pure troo storee fur todays. So have a nice days an az will have a nice day two.
Love fae Presley the King.

Sidnae Deevine

Hullo, mee hear, az haz hud pure hunners of hits on ma blog an ah fot az wid tell ewes a pure rite funnee troo storee. Noo az swears tae masell this reelee happined tae mee and Mollee.
Wit happined wiz thiz. A foo nites ago ma Mum got oot sum old videeos tae play on the gramafone. Theys wur videeos of hur when shee wiz jist a puppee, filmed aboot 80 yeers ago. Mee and Mollee pure like seeing the videeos of all ma Mums udder dogs who are noo at Rainbow Bridge. There wiz sum videeos of Kim hur first dug, an Zara an Lucky udder dogs shee had - wees even seen Lucky pure sittin at the table on xmas days an ma Mum pure telt uz that wees are no aloud tae sit at the tables wiff wur bibs on an thats no fare. Then ma Mum wanted tae watch an udder old videeo of hur hooman grand mother. Wees will call hur Wee Gran fur short, coz she wiz smaller than Mollee, ah swears tae masell she wiz. Noo Wee Gran wiz blind all hur life, jist like ma brover Wizzee, but shee had a white stick. Ah finks that wiz tae hit folk over the heed wiff if they got in the way, so am goin tae buy Wizzee a white stick fur hiz xmas. The videeo wiz aboot a time when Wee Gran wiz invited tae a This is Ewer Life fing fur an old wummin called Maggee who wiz aboot 200 yeers old. It wiz pure torture watchin this videeo, then Wee Gran came on near the end an pure sung a song called Ah Swallowed a Peanut. Everybuddee at the 'This is Your Life' pure loved this song and mee and Mollee wiz pure laffin. Am no sure if ma Mum liked it, coz shee wiz pure greetin!
But when Wee Gran had finished singing, wee heard an udder persun singing a song, it wiz called 'Maggee'. Noo am no as good a singur az Basil Brush, but it starts 'I pure wandured tae the hills today...... ' La la la, They say ewe are aged and grey Magee... la la la'
Do ewes ken it??
Well, ma Mum an Dad fot they kent thiz man who wiz singing!! Ah fots wit a pare of plonkers, coz mee an Mollee pure kent rite away who it wiz, coz he also sings Tiny Bubbells.
Noo Wee Gran wiz blind and she kent rite away who it wiz and fankfoolee she says oh how nice, thats Sidnee Deevine!! An az swears tae masell thats pure who it wiz. The look on ma Mum and Dads face wiz a pure picktoor. Its no everydae ewe watch sum old familee videeo and pure sees sumwun as famoss az Wee Gran.!!!
Noo az wid lets ewes all see thiz videeo, but az am goin tae save ewes frum heering Sidnee Deevine!! LOL Bee Happee.
Love fae Big Presley xx

Ma Psyco Dad!

Well hullo all ewes, its mee!
Noo ewes will all ken that az am rite cliver, thats coz am a dug and sum of ewes is only hoomans, but az am goin tae tell ewe a rite spookee storee and az swears tae masell its the troof.
See wit happined wiz thiz. Last weekend, az finks that wiz aboot free weeks ago, ma Mum and Dad says theys were away tae a workshop fur tae lern how tae talk tae the anneemals - az fots tae masell eye rite very good!! Wit diz they fink theys are Docktur Doooolittles, its mare like Docktur Doooooflaminnuffin. Anyways, off theys go's tae see ma antee JoeAnne Hull the anneemal comoonicatur tae lerns how tae dae thiz. Noo there wur like sum reel psycho meediums there, and ewe wid fink they wid bee reelee good at it. Noo ma Mum only likes tae talk tae mee and ma Mollee and sumtimes Roobee, so shee pure only got a foo fings that wur so spot on aboot the dug or cat shee wiz talkin tae. But wate fur thiz, the star of the day wiznae a reel psycho meedium, but ma very own psycho Dad. As swears tae masell its so pure troo. His reedins were so flamin accurate that even ma antee JoeAnne wiz pure flabbergasted. Noo, see fing iz, ah kens that a lot of peepells diznae beeleeve in all this and pure finks its nonsense, but see az diznae care, coz ah finks a lott of peepells oot there are off their flamin nuts, theys jizt diznae reelize it. Ma Dad iz getting picktoors sent tae him by peepells from the workshop of dugs that ma Dad diznae ken and he iz pure dane a reedin. Noo sum anneemal coomoonicaturs charges up tae £120 fur tae do thiz and ma Dad iz pure dane it in hiz sleep - jist like he diz all fings espeshally drivin. Anyways az finks thats cool, jist like hiz noo hair cut a numbur too all over!! Ah kens the times Ivor got a number two all over hiz noze but thats an udder storee.
Az wid also like tae say a rite big fank ewe tae a ladee who pure used ma Mum services reecentlee and gave a masseeve donation tae the Dugs who are no as well off az mee and mollee. ma Mum haz pure split the donation between hur favorit charitees and theys wur reel pleesed. With the credit crunchee goin on at the moment, it wiz pure rite geneross of the wumin and ma Mum wiz neerlee greetin when the wumin telt ma Mum wit shee wiz wantin tae gee them.
Anyways, az am away tae talk tae Docktur Doooooflaminnuffin.
Love fae big Presley xxx