Hullo all ma fans, az bets ewes haz been missin me, well az iz back! Az haz been pure dead buzy rightin ma book. Todays though ah decides tae take a day aff fae rightin and az went on a walk wae some of ma beetches and some of ma hetro sexually challenged pals. See az wiz going tae write that theys were gay, but not all of thems are, some are pure right grumpy sometimes. Anyways aff me and ma Molls went tae a right far place in the pet hearse, az finks it wiz aboot 397 miles tae get there and aboot 3 miles tae come hame. Az meets up wae sum of ma old pals, but az wiz right sad that ma best pal Toby McKay wiznae there.
Well aw ma udder pals wiz there, Spooky caspur the sexually challenged wan, and hiz new boyfriend Ruben!! Ruben, wit kind of name is that?? If ma Molls wets on the carpet, az heers ma Mum shout, az haz bin 'ruben' this fur ages and the stain still haznae cum oot.
Then there wiz an udder big guy there called John, az finks az will call him Jonny, coz wees were on a walk and az kens some wan else called Johnny Walker. Noo ma pal Jonny, had hiz cells mates wae him and they wurs called Toots and Lassie. No the Lassie fae the telly mind, in fact, if shees wiz Lassie, shees wid be oot a job, coz she wiz sufferin from that wumins fing and shees wiz right narky wae the boys, butt she pure dead like mee.
Ewes will no believe wit happened tae mees. Az does what a King haz dae do, and coz az didnae huv ma Minder big mac wae me or ma heed of security Ikea, az decided that az should show ma beetches that az wiz a right proper gentledug and cover ma pee. But az swears tae masell, az a did thiz az fot a had dropped ma bling...wan of the Kings crown jewells, so az pure dead quickly bent doon tae pick it up wiffoot them seeins mee. But oz ah hears is awe the prison guards right laffin, coz theys finks az fell. Noo if ewes heers az fells, that iz jist no true.
Az iz pure right tired the nite, so az iz aff fur ma handsome sleep. Az will be back soon.
Love tae awe ma beetches.
Big Presley the King. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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- My name is Presley, I'm a Pedigree Lurcher, which is a Greyhound cross Collie.
2 comments:
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