Hullo all ewes oot there
This is what a fink wee will bee doing on Kissmass Day.
04.30am Ma Dad will get up - no beecos HE is Santa Paws, but cos he will go tae work. Mee and Mollee will spends sum time in the exercise yard looking fur yellow snow cos this may bee eveedense of Rane Dears!
Noo if we find eveedense, ah will shout at the top of ma voice 'SANTA PAWS HAS BEAN'!!
This serves no purrpuss, udder than to annoy the nayburs kids - cos Santa Paws may not have bean to there hoose by that time.
06.30am Ma Mum will get up and the big dogs (Mac, Roobee, Wizzee and Bazil) will go and look fur eveedense of Rane Dears - but they will no find any cos, wee will have looked first and hid all eveedense!!
08.30am Wee will be moved from the Turd Cell to the Living Rooms to watch Lassee on tellys - Mollee always like a good cry on Kissmass Day.
15:00 This is when ah doo ma Kissmass speesh, and ah fank everybuddee fur a rite nice yeer. Ah also remembers all those who has a horreebell ehnnus. Thats latin fur sore back bottom. Wee sumtimes goes to the park, but am no sure if wee's will, cos ma Mum mite be called oot tae work.
20:00 Dad will come home tae see his Turkee - Mollee says am no aloud tae call Mum that, but that is the troof, and ah always tells ewe the troof. Last Kissmass mum and dad had a joint fur there kissmass, so ah will need to check and see if there is tin foil fur them tae use!
21:00 Mee and Mollee will get wur Kissmass dinner. Ah fink wee are havin, Deed Prawns followed by, mare Deed Fish and Rice wiff Phillips Steak, followed by a little sweet tart - (oh Mollee, where are ewe?).
Frew out the day, ah will see how many of ma Mum and Dads noo Kissmass presents that ah can choo - ah likes to do that, cos they pool rite funnee faces when they see's wit ah have dun.
22:00 Mee and Mollee will go back tae the turd cell and go tae wur beds - lites on. Eye, ewes fot ah wiz goin tae say lites off, but fing is this, fur punishment they leafs a little lite on, so that mee and Mollee cannee sleeps.
That is what mee and Mollee will bee doin on Kissmass day - cool eh?.
So ah hopes ewe all has a rite nice time toomorrow and ah hopes Santa Paws brings ewe all the fings that ewes dont need.
Pee Ess, Wee is playing a trick on Wizzee and wee have no telt him that its Kissmass - he finks its just an udder day at the Lan Ark open prizon. Noo wate wan minit befour ewes fink wee is reel bad. Cos fing is, last Kissmass wee had tae call oot the vet fur Wizzee, so wee dont want him too have nite mares remembering that. So, no noo collar or present frum Santa Paws fur him!!!.
Love fae Big Presley tae all ma beetches - have a rite nice Kissmass.