Who go's, you decide??

Hullo all ewes oot there,
Ewes will no beleeve wits happined. See how am always pure blamed fur bean a bad boy, well fing is am no the only bad boy that lives hear at Lan Ark Open Prizon.
Ah will tell ewes wit happined.
Sum of ewes will ken that Sixee Lixee (wur old cat) pure went an broke ma Mums noo eggspensive lamp. Ma Mum wiz neerlee cryin cos she only bott it aboot free weeks ago and she reel liked it, but she felt guiltee aboot how mutch monee she spent on it and even that wiz half price in a Sail. Thats troo.
Rite. Then at the sames times as she bott the noo lamp, she bott a huge big side bored for wur dinner eeting room. Noo ah kens wee dont have a dinner eeting room, wur dinner eetin room is where ma compootur is, but ma Mum is changing it back to an eetin room. So anyways, the room wid look rite sillee wiff only a table and chairs in it, so that is why she bott the side bored fingy to put hur bits in. Its oot in wur hall at the moment and nexx fing ah pure hears hur screeming (again!). Wur udder cats Stanlee and Hilda wiz sittin on the top of it and had pure scratched all the top. That set ma Mum off again, neerlee crying.
So ma Mum pure went oot fur a walk to stop hursell frum crying, but fing is, she only went and leff big Mac in the living rooms himsell. Noo Mac likes tae bee on his own, but only if wee are all there! So he pure panicked himsell, finking he had bean leff, and looked fur a way to escapes. He jumped up on ma Mums table - the solid oak wan shee bott last yeer - and he pure scratched all the surface reel deep, so it cannee bee fixed.
Noo at no times, did ah ever here hur sayin 'ewes is bad Mac' or 'ewes is a bad girl Six'.
But nexx fing is a chooed wan plastick pen, broke two glasses and chooed the remote control fing. And all hell broke loose, ah swear tae masell that is the troof. An the hole of Souff Lan Ark Shire pure herd ma Mum tellin me a wiz a bad boy!
So fing is there is no a fing left in this prizon that hasnae bean damage by wan of the dugs or the cats. Oh eye, ah forgot aboot the noo leather bed - that is pure scratched tae smiterines too.
But all ah wants tae ken is how come its always mee who pure gets into trubbles and no thems?
So ah fink ah should ask all ma fans the buring question. Who should go??
Who pure did the most damage? Mee, the cats or the udder inmates.
Pleese put ewer ansurs on a postcard and send them to mees at Lan Ark open prizon.
Pee Ess, ma name shood not be on the card, udder than the address bit.
Fank ewe
Love fae Presley xxx