Kismass Song

Hullo, yes az am back and am mutch better noo that az am over my dug floo!! Fank ewes fur all ma get betters cards, but next times am no well, can ewes jist send mee the monee instead. Fanks.
Noo az didnae spend all ma ill days jist bean ill, az wiz listening tae the box wiff no wires. Its called a wireless fur any uneducated peepells. Noo there wiz an old codger that kept singging a song, hiz name wizz sumfin tae dae wiff a rock - day ewe kens who az am meenin? Eye, it wiz Cliff. Thats a cool name. Az liked hiz singging very mutch, but he didnae sing all the wurds rite, so az made up sum of ma ane. The song iz aboot the cold weather and it wiz called Missin Toes and Wine. Noo wit az wid like ewes all tae day is tae sing along wiff mee and ma version goes like this.

The dug is a King, the udders they swing
The old yeer is passed, Bazil haz sum gass,
Dreems of Santa, dreems of ssnow
Wur paws are numb, wur bums are aglow

Korus
Kissmass time missin toes and wine
Wees are fartin all the time
Wur logs are on fire
Wees iz peein on the trees

Wiff food in wur bellys, Wizzy legs are like jelly
A time fur eating, everfin wees sees
A time fur living, a time fur getting
A time fur thursting, A time fur lusting
Kissmass time is love Kissmass is a feest
When ah gets ma paws on Mollee
I'll show hur am a beest

Korus
Kissmas time missin toes and wine
Wees are fartin all the time
Wur logs are on fire
Wees iz peein on the trees

Noo when ewes all heer old Rock face singging thiz song ewes can fink of mee, but rememburs dont bee turds change the wurds!
Rite az will need tae go noo, but if ewes like ma song, az will let ewes heer ma vershun of Hart of Gass. Bye for noo, big Presley the songriter, fillosifur, orfur, poet and lover of all the beetches. xxx