Ma Mum loves Number twos!

Hullo, az wiz goin tae rite ma blog earlee er but mee and Mollee couldnae stop laffin. Noo ewe all kens mee and ewe kens as am a rite compasshonate dug, but see fing iz, az have a fing aboot laffin when udders are no laffin. Ah cannee help masell and ma mollee cannee help hursell.
Noo thiz iz a troo storee and az swears tae masell thiz iz the troof. Wit happined wiz thiz. See ma Mum, shee pure loves numbur twos. Noo befour ewes go off on wan, wate until ah tells ewes why. Noo remebur ma Dad pure took wur car fur sum off road drivin, then ma Mum felt left oot, so shee let a man pure slam intae hur frum behind. Well that wiz acksident number two! Well ewes will no beleevee wit happined todays. Ma Mum haz had toofake fur like free weeks noo and wees wur all fed up listenin tae hur greetin. So too weeks ago she got her appointment wiff the Vet Dentist and hee pure poked hur aboot and said hee wid need tae doo a bit of gardening in her moof. Noo when az says gardening, wit ah meens iz that hee wiz goin tae work on the roots.
So hee pure gave ma Mum two rite big injections. (See there is the numbur too again!). Ma Mum pure suffered fur a hole week, until shee couldnae take anymores, and ended up getting the Vet doctur tae give hur rite strong pain killers that made hur even mare dizzy than she normally iz!! The next times shee seen the Vet Dentist he geed hur an udder too injections and pure finished working on the root. Fankfoolee that wiz it over. But wate it wiznae! Ma Mum pure woke up thiz mornin, well we fink shee woke up, coz shee looked like she wiz deed. Shee wiz greetin again. Next fing the Vet Dentist foned and telt ma Mum tae go back tae them rite away. Noo thiz iz the funnee bit....ewes will no beeleeve it.....the Vet Dentist discovered that he pure fixed the rong root. It wiz the toof next tae the wan he fixed that wiz broken. So ma Mum iz pure havin tae get an udder session wiff the Vet Dentist tae fix the rite toof. But hee geed hur an udder too big injections. This time he pure paralised hur hole half face and shee came home lookin like shee had dun too rounds wiff Mike Dyson!! Well, mee and Mollee pure laffed so much, az finks Mollee wet hursell, and ah swears too ewe that iz the troof. Noo everybuddee iz pure sayin tae ma Mum 'so ewe reelee wur in pane fur all these weaks'.
So az ewe can sea ma Mum pure loves numbur twos, ah meen who else dae ewe ken that diz everyfin in toos, sept old Wizzy Wonga ??
Well ah must go noo, coz ma belly iz sore wiff laffin. Hope ewes have a nice day TWOday!!! LOL
Big Presley the King Docktur xxxx