In Memoree of Big Ivy Pyvee

Deer everboddees, az am rite sorree tae say that ma Big Brover Ivor, affectshonally kent az Big Ivy Pyvee went tae Rainbow Bridge at 10.30am this morning.


Hee wiz a furrelee nice chap and ma Mum called him P Bear - that stood fur Polar Bear - cos hee looked jizt like wan, and hee wiz ma Dads best pal.


Wee are all rite sad tonites and the open prizon at Lan Ark will niver bee the same wiffoot him.


Run free big man, look efter all the udders up there and wee's will meet again wan day.


Love fae yer weee bruver King Presley xxxxxx

Where shoold ah invest ma moneee??

Hullo all ewes oot there, how r ewes doin?
Noo ewes is all wunderin why az am sooooo happee todaes. Well there are too fings that have made mee happee todaes. Numbur wan iz that ma Mum haz bin talkin aboot goin on a croose soon. How cool iz that? That meens that mee and Mollee gets a holeedaes even if wees didnae leeve the Open Prizon hear at Lan Ark. Coz see fing iz, ah can dae wit a like when theys are no hear an ah gets pure spoiled. See ma Mum pure tells everybuddee that ah am a nut job, but ah pure like tries to beehave masell so peepells fink ma Mum wiz tellin them porkee pies! So the peepells feel rite sorree fur mee and gee mee unners of cuddells and sumtimes kissess. Am no so soor ah likes them given mee kisses, but ah soor likes tae give them kisses, espeshally if ah have jist cleened oot ma bits. So ah wiz finkin that ah should gee ma Mum sum monee fur spending on holeedae and she can bring mee back sumfin nice. But then, wate wan minit, ah have a dielemmarr. Coz ma pal in Souff Koreeeah haz learned how tae Klone a dug. Eye that iz troo.
So, ah wiz finkin that maybees ah sould save up ma pockit monee and buy masell a reel dug of masell. Can ewes imagin how cool that wid bee if there wiz too King Presleys insted of Wan King.
Noo see ah kens wit ewes are finkin, ewes are finkin why wid King Presley want an udder King Presley. Well, ah wiz finkin that if there wiz too King Presleys, ma Klone could stay hear wiff ma Mollee and ah could go and live wiff ma Feeonsee Rag. Noo sumtimes, ah wid swop places wiff the Klone and come back hear tae the Open Prizon tae make soor Mac isnae tryin tae move in on ma Mollee. Noo its xpensive tae get a Klone of mee, so ah wid need to save up fur aboot 49 yeers, but ah finks it wid bee worff it. So ma dielemmarr is thiz, dae ah gee ma Mum spendin monee fur hur holedae tae bye mee sumfin nice or does ah save up fur a Klone??
Az will need tae gee thiz wan a bit of fot, but az will let ewes ken wit ah have decided.
Love fae big Presley the King - the Wan King at the moment. xxxxxx

The first Piktoor iz the Reel King Presley an the second wan is wit ma Klone wid look like!

Its Rabbee Burns Dae!

Hullo everybodees, its mee big Presley, or fur ma fannees, ewes can call mee Preslee Burns todae!
Noo see fur all ewes undedoocated peepells oot there, todae is Rabbee Burns dae, and ah fink az am related tae him. Ah fink hee wiz ma grate, grate, grate, grate grandfather or sumfin. Noo wate wan minit, az kens wit ewes are finkin. Ewes are finkin that az am only sayin that coz hee iz neerlee as famoose az mee. But that iz no troo. See fing iz, have ewes ever red any of hiz poemms, coz if ewes have, ewes will see that hee pure spells everyfin like mee. Ah swears tae masell hee diz. If ewes are no familiar wiff hiz poemms, hear iz a reemindur of wit hee rote, and ewes will see there iz a familee reesemblense.
My Love is like a Read Read rose - thiz wiz rit fur ma Mollee and ma Rag and all ma udder babes.
Address fur tae send the Haggiss - thiz wiz rit fur Bazil, coz he iz a fat man.
Auld Langs Wine - wiz rit fur Wizzy Wong.
Hollee Willees Prayer - ah dont fink az should say who he rit this wan fur, but ewes can fink aboot it yersells.
and last but no leest.. 'To a Moose' - that wiz rit fur ma Mollee, coz shee pure kills all the mice.
Noo ewes can see why az iz reelated tae Rabbee Burns, and az will bee havin ma Haggiss tonites and ma Dad can have the Wiskee.
So when ewes have a drink tae Rabbee Burns tonite, ewe can have a piece of toast fur mee too.
Have a rite nice Presley Burns Dae, all ma loves Big Presley xxxxxx

Gee the man hiz medall

Hullo all ewes oot there. Noo first fings first. Ma Mum says am no aloud tae say 'ewes is ma fannees'. Shee said the wurd am lookin fur iz Fans. Well am no so soor, an ah says tae hur that ma fannees will no kent wit ah meen, theys will fink ah have forgottin how tae spell or sumfin.
Anyways, wees had a pure brillent weakend, coz ma Unkill George came tae stay wiff uz and hee iz so pur funnee and hee made mee and Mollee laff at all hiz troo storees. See ma Mum haz bin friends wiff Unkill George fur aboot 68 years or sumfin, its a rite long time.
Noo fing iz, ma Unkill George wiz a pollisman fur aboot 27 of they yeers, but no a WTC, fur uneducated peepells that stands fur Wooden Top Cop, hee wiz in the seereeus crime squad and hee had a gun, so hee delt wiff reel seereeus fings like ma pal on the tellys Taggart, who works oot who did murrdurs. Cool eh? Anyways when ma Unkill George wiz a pollisman, hee got a certificate fur bean brave, it wiz the highest commendation a pollisman can get. Noo normallees a pollisman wid get a medal fur tae go wiff thiz certificate, but hee niver got hiz medal, so ah deecided tae turn dog dickective and find oot why not. Ah fund the ansur in a book ritten by the heed of the seereeus crime squad. Ewes will no beeleeve it, but it turns oot that Unkill George pure swore at a robber when hee arrested him! Ah swears tae masell that iz the troof. The WTC brigade of nut job seenur officers, the wans that are two afraid tae leeve there desks, deecided that wiznae PC, which stands fur Pollisman Currsin. Noo ah cannee repeet wit it wiz that hee said eggactlee, but wit hee said wiz 'move and I'll blow yer f....... heed aff'. Noo ah finks that wiz PC an ah finks if mare pollis did thiz tae robbers, wees wid live in a safer world.
Ma Mollee wiz pure greetin when ah telt hur that storree, coz shee fot Unkill George wid dae that tae hur fur killin the mice in the gerdin. But see fing iz, wit shee didnae ken wiz that ah had telt ma Unkill that shee kilt them bye acksident and didnae mean tae, so it wiz moose slaughter and no man slaughter. Ah fot it wiz funnee tae let hur fink hee had come fur tae arrest hur and maybees shee will catch uz a moose fur tae keep az a pet in the hoose next times. Efter shee had pure wet hersell fur the turd time, ah telt hur hee wiz retired frum the Pollis noo and couldnae arrest hur. The look on hur face wiz pure funnee.
Anyways, ah finks ma Unkill should get hiz medal, but no fur swearin, fur bean pals wiff ma Mum fur so many yeers. Noo ah fink that over the commin monffs ah will tell ewe sum of ma Unkills rite funnee storees, hee iz a pure hoot and mee and Mollee hope wee will see him soon tae tell uz sum mare storees of bean a Pollisman and maybees hee could get mee a job az a Pollis Dug. Rite az am aff tae play in the ssssssssnnoooowwww!! wey hey Molleee!!
Love fae big Presley the next Pollis Dug. xxxx

Ha Ley Loo Yah!

Hullo everyboddees, az hope ewes iz az happee az mee!
Noo let mee tells ewes a troo storee and ah swears tae masell this is the troof, but its so good ah dont fink even ma most loyal fannees will beeleeve mee.
See fing iz ah used tae beeleeve in Angels, eye its troo, but then ah sent wan of ma Angels tae ma Antee Noras. And ewes will no beeleeve it. Ma Angel couldnae even find hur wae tae Edinburger. Noo fing iz is if shee cannee look efter hersell, wit chance haz she got lookin efter ma Antee Noras. So ah pure sacked that Angel, and ah said tae Molllee ah didnae beeleeve in Angels anymores. Ma Mollee said it wiznae the Angels falt that shee got lost. Mollee finks postman pat wiz jizt probably playin wiff hiz pusseee cat and forgot tae delivers wur letteur.
Anyways, yisterday, Mee and Mollee wiz at the sopps, fur tae bye sum sopping at the pet sopp. Az wees wur walkin tae the pet sopp ah looked intae the windae of an udder sopp and ah fot all ma kismmasses had come at once. Ewes will no beeleeve wit theys wur sellin. Noo thiz iz the troof and ewes can check it oot fur yersells. This sopp wiz sellin......trees!! Eye trees, but wate wan minit no jizt any auld trees, like the wans wee dugs use tae pee pee on. These wur magic trees!! Honest!! Theys had a big notice beside them and it says 'Grow yer own Plums'!!!
Ah swear tae masell that is pure 100000% the troof. Ah pure yelled Ha Ley Loo Ya, fae the top of ma heed. Ah checked oot ma pocket monee, but ah only had eenuff monee tae bye wan tree, but az only need too plums, so ah hope wan tree will bee eenuff. Noo between ewe an mee, ah finks thiz iz wan big monee makin scam by the Vets. See they pure remove a dugs plums when theys are no lookin and pit them in jars. Then they sell the 'grow yer an plums' trees next tae the pet sopp, so wees dugs will rush in an bye them. So in a foo monffs ah will have ma ane plums! Ah will let ewes ken wit theys are like, but rite noo am off tae fank the angels fur pure listen tae ma prayers! Ha Ley Loo Yah!!
An also tae fank them fur lookin efter ma Antee Noras. Ah loves ewe Antee Noras.
Buy for noo, big Presley the King - who will have hiz an plums soon xxxxxxxxxxx

Mum and Dad had a joint!

Hullo all ewes oot there, how are ewes all doin todaes?
Well mee and Mollee had a grate dae yesterdaes, but can ewes beelevee it, coz it got even bettur. See wit happined wiz thiz, ma Mum decided tae have a joint. Noo ah swears tae masell that iz the troof. Ah seen her gettin oot all the fings fur tae make it. She had stuff that looked like grass and tinfoil and a spoon and off she goes wiff grate gusto take make it. It wiz the biggest joint ah had ever seen in the hole of ma life. Mee and Mollee wur pure laffin at her, coz Mum wiz pure kiddin on like shee kent wit shee wiz doin wiff it, but they could have shared it wiff aboot 10 peepells and pure enjoyed it. Then ma Dad comes home and ma Mum says wiff a big smile on hur face, wees are going tae have a joint. Well ewe should have seen the look on ma Dads face, it wiz like pure shock horror!! Hee says tae Mum, ah cannee rememburs the last time ah had a joint, ah finks it wiz a University, when ah had long hair, and didnae ken wit dae of the weak it wiz. Well between ewe and mee, ah diznae fink ma Mum kent wit dae of the weak it wiz eiver. So, shee pure sat ma Dad doon and geed him the joint. Well ah swears tae masell, Mee and Mollee pure laffed fur ages. Coz ma Mum wiz rite chuffed wiff hur effort and ma Dads face wiz a picktoor. Ma Dad unwrapped the tinfoil, wiff the spoon in hiz udder hand and looked at the joint! It wiz still massive, ah fink ma Mum must have dun sumfin rang. Before wee kent wit had happined there wiz blood everywhere, honest there wiz. Mee and Mollee wur pure laffin so mutch bye noo ah fot Mollee wiz goin tae do hur usual and wet hursell. Like ah fot, Mum had messed up hur joint and shee hadnae cooked it long eenuff. It wiz like pure raw in the middell.
See fing iz, ma Mum bot the joint fur the time that wees had friends commin tae visit, but shee pure had niver cooked wan so big, and thats how shee didnae cook it long eenuff.
So mee and Mollee ended up wiff the joint and theys ended up wiff cold meet!! A purrfect end tae a purrfect dae fur mee and Mollee. Wees wur fool up and wees will bee eetin the joint fur the rest of the weak. Fanks Mum, ewe are a star, wees love ewe, even if ewe is a plonker!
Love tae ma Antee Noras, love fae big Presley the King who loves a joint xxxxxxxxx

Pure Eegit Man

Hullo all ewes oot there, hows it goin?
Well mee and Mollee haz had a rite nice day, and so haz Captin and hiz burd. Noo see fing iz, Captins burd diznae look too well, so ma Mum foned the Burd Vet and hee said hee wiz used tae deelin wiff burds and hee kent wit tae doo wiff a doo. So ma Mum took Captin and hiz burd tae see him and hee geed the burd medisin fur tae make hur better. But fing iz, the Burd Vet said tae pit sum blackcurrent joose in the water tae disguise the taste of the medisin. Wees diznae have blacurrent joose, so when ma Mum came home she took mee and Mollee tae the sops tae bye sum. But fing iz when wees went tae drive oot frum wur hoose a big Argos lorree wiz blockin wur driveway. Ma Mum says in hur best posh electrocushon voice, 'scoose mee, could ewe pleese move ewer lorree'. Tae whitch the man replied 'naw, no fur an udder fore minits, coz of ma tackograff'. Mee and Mollee pure laffed at him sayin that tae ma Mum. So ma Mum says 'well could ewe pleese reverse doon the lane a bit tae let mee oot'. The man says 'Naw, no fur an udder fore minits'. Well see ma Mums face it wiz a pure picktoor and mee and Mollee wiz laffin wur heeds aff. Az says tae Mollee, omg, hear comes yon red mist stuff!! Az swears tae masell, thats the troof, ah pure seen it comin doon over ma Mum and wees wur shoutin, gee him a tankin Mum. Noo am no sure if wees helped or made fings wurse, but it wiz rite funnee. Next fing ma Mum says 'If ewes dont move ewer lorree, I will stick ewer tackograff where the sun diznae shine'. Ah finks that wiz the bit that Mollee laffed so mutch shee pure wet hersell in ma Mums noo car. Ah fink the man in the lorree pure understood exactlee where that place is that the sun dont shine coz hee pure moved hiz lorree. Ah wiz pokin ma heed oot the windae tryin tae look rite feersum, but its no eezy when ewe is laffin so mutch. Anyways, off wees go, fore minits later tae the sopps.
But ma Mum haz a memoree like a goldfiss, and shee pure forgot why shee had took uz tae the sopps. So wees went tae the park insted. That wiz rite cool. Mee and Mollees had the park tae wursells, like a private park or sumfin. So that wiz ma rite cool dae, so noo am away fur a sleeps, and ma Mum iz away back tae the sopps fur blackcurrent joose fur the burd.
Love tae ma Antee Noras, love fae big Presley the King xxxxx

Wees all floo over the cookoos nest!

Hullo everyboddees its mee Big Presley the nut job King.
Well wees have had a rite bizzee toodae hear at the Open Prison in Lan Ark. First fing todaes wiz big Ivor, udder wise kent az P Bare, coz hee went tae the Vet Dentist! Noo wate wan minit, hee's no called P Bare in the sense of a Bare Peein, its cos Mum finks hee looks like a polar bare. Anyways, off hee goes pure waggin his tale, like a rite tube, finkin hee wiz goin tae the park and wey hey... hee gets taken to the Vet Dentist. Noo sum of ewes will rememburs that ma Mum didnae have mutch luck at the Vet Dentist before kissmass, when theys did the root treetment on the rang toof. So wiff that in mind, the Vet Dentist decided no tae bover wiff all that and jizt took Ivors teef oot. Eye, all of them, well all of thems that hee had left, and that wiz the 4 big wans at the back of hiz moof. Noo before ewes all start sendin him get well soon kards and website addresses fur falsers, hee still haz hiz big teef at the front fur tae bite peepells wiff, so its no all doom and gloom. Mind ewe if ewe seen the nick of Ivor comin back frum the Vet Dentist, ewe wid fink it wiz all doom and gloom.
Noo wit dae ewes make of uz hear at the Open Prizon in Lan Ark, wees are a rite bunch or weerdos.
Mee big Presley the nut job seeing a sikyatrist, Ivor wiff nae teef, Roobee wiff nae leg, Wizzee wiff nae eyesite or heerin, Big Mac wiff a complexshon aboot bean black, Basil wiff nae pies left fur him tae eet. Zoro wiff hiz Victur Meldrew attitood, Captain wiff nae fethurs, his burd wiff nae will tae live and ma Mum that haz so mutch rang wiff hur, ah wid bee hear all dae listin hur problems. Oh eye and mee wiff nae plums! Wot ah want tae ken is wit are they dane wiff all wur spare bits are they like makin an udder dug or sumfin? Like a Frankinsteen Dug? mmmh ah fink theys are.
So ah finks wee should make wur ane movie called 'wees all flew over the cookoos nest'. Ah swears tae masell, if it wiznae fur bad luck wees widnae have any luck at all. So lets all drink tae Bad Luck, coz its better than nae luck at all, and wees havenae mutch else tae drink tae.
Noo ah wid like tae menshon free peepells az have bin finkin aboot, congratoolatshons tae ma Antee Haylee and Unkill Jason fur theys are tae bee marreed sumtime, so thats cool. And tae ma Antee Eleena who haz a noo neecap and will bee home tomorrows frum hospeetal and ah want tae send all ma love tae ma Antee Noras.
Az will bee back tomorrows tae let ewe kens wit mush ivor gets fur hiz dinner.
Love fae big Presley the King xxx

Pure Mentill

Hullo everyboddees, well its troo, az am a 100% nut job and its pure bin verified bye the sikyatrist. How cool iz that? But the good fing iz, its not jizt mee, its ma Mum and Dad too, fur theys have made mee bee like thiz - its offisheeal ah am a pure celebritty nut job in ma ane prizon cell. Ah had a pure dead brilliant dae yisterday at the sikyatrist, there wiz lots of rite nice fings fur mee tae play wiff. Az got a big ball fing tae play wiff, makes a change frum the two burst balls az usually plays wiff! Anyways, it wiz fool of treets and all ah had tae dae tae get a treet wiz roll the ball. Man that sikyatrist must see sum reel nut jobs if that wiz a test, coz ah got it first times and stuffed ma face fool off treets. Az am also getting noo food tae eet, tae see if that will help mee bee a rtie nice dug, so its oot wiff that rotten stuff that tastes like deed fish, the salmon and rice, and in wiff the duck and rice. Well ah fink they said duck and rice, maybee they says f.... the rice. But anyways, its pure cool and mee and mollee reelee likes it.
Noo fur ma udder noos. Captin wur canaree haz got himsell a burd. Ah swears tae masell that iz the troof. Ah finks shee iz goin tae bee called Tineel. That meens wee wid have Captin and Tineel. Captin iz pure singing tae Tineel all the times, an hee iz singing, 'Do that to me wan mare time'. Honest he iz, coz ah kens that song, and ah have tot him tae sing it. Ma best song at the moment iz 'If I had wurds', coz ah herd that on the film 'Babe'
Ah wid also like to send all ma love to ma Antee Noras.
lots of love fae big Presley xxxx

Its pure Sssssnowin hear!

Deer everybuddees, az cannee beeleeve it, its pure sssnowin hear in Lan Ark. Noo normalees ah loves the ssssnow, but fing iz ah have tae go tae see the sikyatrist tomorrow mornings and wees cood be ssssnowed in. Noo az am rite lookin forward tae meetins thiz man who iz goin tae cure mee of all ma mentill problems. Noo ah herd ma Mum sayin that ah wiz tae get a frontal la bottomee. Ah finks the wurd 'la bottommee' is frensh fur a***se, or fur posh peepells, bottom! Noo how can ah get a front bottom, am a boy dug for cryin oot loud, and its only girl dugs that have a front bottom and a back bottom!!. Ah hopes theys are no tryin tae get mee tae bee wan of they transeggsuals and take ma boy bits away and replace them wiff girl bits. If theys dae that, ah will pure report thems tae sumone.
See ah fink ah kens wit the problem iz. See fing iz thiz, the udder day, ma Mum fot shee wid have a glass of wine, it wiz called First Cape - ah fink Superman makes it - well ma Dad finks hees Superman when hee drinks it!!!. See hee diz hiz impershunashon of Superman climbing up the walls, but ma Dad diz the same fing on the floor!! Anyways, wit happined wiz thiz and ah swear tae masell thiz iz the troof. It says on the back of the bottle, cellarage, that iz where peepells keeps celleree fur the soop. Noo ma Mum didnae have hur glasses on, coz she had the glasses on the table. Noo the labell red: Drink wiffin 12 monffs. But ma Mum fot it says: Drink wiffin 12 minuts!! An shee finks ah am in need of wan of the Frensh fings a Frontal Labottomee.
Ewes have no ideer wit mee and Mollee have tae pit up wiff and ah fink the sikyatrist will realise tomorrow that their iz noffin wrang wiff mee, but maybees shee can help ma Mum.
Az will let ewe kens how ah get on and if the men in white coats come and take ma Mum away.
Love fae Big Presley the King xxxxxxxxxxx

Hapee Noo Yeers!

Hullo everyboddee, its mee big Presley and az oot of the cooler and am back fur the noo yeers!
Wee's had tae cansell wur noo yeers coz ma best buddee Olly went tae join Denzil at the Bridge.
But noo az am back and fings are back tae normals.
Mind ah telt ewe wees had a noo gold on-sweet in wur livin room and ah pure lifted ma leg and did wit a king haz tae do, well ah canee rememburs if ah telt ewes it pure lit up like a kissmass tree, but it did thats the troof. Well ah should say it did!! See fing iz, az am gettin the blame fur blown the bloomin fing up, all coz the lites went oot on Boxin day and wees have had tae send it back.
Noo ma big bruver Wizzee Wonga iz feelin himsell again, so thats cool and so iz ma big sistur Roobee, the udders have always felt themsells!! Yuck!! Sumfin horrid happined tae mee the udder day but az didnae tell anyones, but az will tells ewes if ewes promiss no tae tell anybuddees. See fing iz, ah dont ken how ah managed tae do thiz, but ah have cut ma tale! Its troo ah did. Noo under normal circumsizes there wid bee a lot of blood frum a cut tale, but ah have cut ma tale rite up neer ma back bottom and thats how naebuddee kens its there. Ah didnae want the vet docktur tae look at ma back bottom, so ah jizt preetends az am cleenin oot ma bits.
Noo fing iz, az hopes ewe all got wit ewes wanted frum Santa Paws, coz ah have sacked him, coz hee only geed mee wan fing frum ma list and that wiz a noo collar. Its pritty cool, its Royal Bloo, fit fur a King like mee. Mollee looks cool in hurs, coz its silver wiff black and it pure matches hur eyes. Wees wur goin tae bye ma Mum a noo collar fur hur kissmass, wan tae match hur eyes, but wee couldnae find a yellow wan!!
In 20000009 az am goin tae see a sikyatrist, coz ah have a sindrome. No bipolar, coz that iz wit homosextual white bears gets. Az have attenshon seekin sindrome, bipresley. Noo ah dont mind if az am cured of ma sindrome, az long az ah still gets lots of attenshon.
So ah will let ewes ken how ma treetment goes. How cool iz that havin a sindrome.
Rite am away tae wiss ma nayburs dugs a happeee noo yeers.
Love fae Presley the King xxxxxxxxx

Sad Day!

Hullo all ewes oot there, its mee back again, big Presley
Wees hoped that thiz wid bee a reelee good yeer for uz and for ewes, but sadly wur yeer didnae get aff tae a good stert. Fing iz thiz, ma big pal Olly died todays. It wiz very sudden, hee jist died.
Noo fing iz thiz. Olly came to live wiff uz at the Open Prizon in Lan Ark about 14 monffs ago. Man hee wiz soooooo cool, and hee looked jist like Denzil Wenzil - the rite famoss cat - but ma Mum wiz a bit scared aboot that. Anyway, Olly wiz called Olly, coz that wiz hiz name. But fing iz when he came tae live wiff uz, hee had bin pure chucked oot of hiz last hoose coz the plonker that owned him got himself the 'shee devil' tae live wiff him and shee didnae like cats. So she telt the bloke, its ivor mee or the cat. The plonker chose the shee devil and pure pit Olly up fur adoptshon. Hee wiz 9 yeers old and had lived az a hoose cat all hiz life, so in udder wurds hee couldnae look efter himsell ootside. Ma Mum felt rite sorree for him and geed him a home. Hee wiz rite cool and big Mac the black man, pure liked him and hee liked Mac. Coz see fing iz, Mac wiz still missin Denzil Wenzil and Mac needed a cat pal, so in came Olly. Olly wiz a boy, but the plonker that hee used tae live wiff fot hee wiz a girl and called him Holly. Ma Mum isnae intae sex changes - eye az ken ewes cannee beelevee that lookin at hur, but anyways, shee said that isnae rite and wee will drop the 'H' and call him Olly!! Olly wiz pure the bizziness and when Charlee (a wumin cat) and Zorro (who used tae bee called Zara), came tae live wiff uz, they pure moved in wiff Olly. Noo Charlee (a sex change wumin cat), seen Olly, shee pure fell in love. Az cannee say the same aboot Zorro (the udder sex change cat), hee didnae like him at all and theys wur always geein eetch other a doin. Az hopes ewes have kept up wiff all the sex change names in thiz hoose - az finks az am the only wan wiff a reel name, an ah fink Mollee reelee iz a Molleee!!! Anyways, ah used tae have tae go an visit Olly and Zorro and ah wid say 2nd's away, round free!! So theys could stert boxin again. It wiz rite funnee. But fing iz thiz Olly....az fot ewe wur a rite pure gentleman, and ewe were rite loved and will bee rite missed.
Az kens that Denzil Wenzil will bee waitin fur ewe at the Bridge. Sleep tite ma wee buddee, wee loves ewe loads. xxxxx
Az am away noo, a very sad big Presley the King xxx