Captin iz noo at Rainbow Bridge

Hullo all ewes oot there.
Ma Mum iz pure away on holleedaes, so ah have hud tae sneek on hear tae post.
Fing iz, ah kens ewes fink az am the proffitt of doom and gloom, wiff all ma bad noos, but ah fot az wid let ewe kens that wee Captin wur burdee pure died this mornins. Ma Mum will bee pure devasstated when shee comes home and finds that oot. Hee pure like jizt died. Ma Mum got him fae the pet sopp, coz hee wiz baldee and hee loved livin hear wiff uz and hiz noo burd Tineel.
Wee´s do not ken wits happined, but its pure sad that hee died on ma Mums birffday.
Ah hopes ma Mum iz havin a pured dead brillent times, coz mee and Mollee iz.
Ah better go, coz am havin such a grate times, and ah diznae want tae bee poot in the cooler fur bean on the compootar.
Ah will speek soon, when am no havin so mutch fun. But ah am bean sad aboot Captin too.
Love fae big Presley the King xxxxxxxxxxxx