Poor Auld Wizzee the Wonga

Hullo all ewes oot there, ah doo hope ewes are enjoyin the sssnow, coz am no. Ah am fed up wiff it noo, but ma Molleee pure loves it. Ah fink shee neerlee loves the sssnow az mutch az shee loves mee, but no quite fankfoolee, udder wize ah will be dumped again.
Anyways, ah have an udder troo storee tae tell ewes and ewes will no beeleeve wit az am aboot tae tell ewes. Diz ewe rememburs that ah said ma big brover Wizzy Wonga, wiznae feelin himsell, well if ewes didnae rememburs ah telt ewes yisterday or the udder dae.
Ma Mum wiz rite worried about Wiz, cos hee wiz shakin his heed and ma Mum wiz shakin hur heed, coz shee didnae ken wit wiz rang with Wiz. So ma Mum pure foned the Vet Docktur and made an appointments wiff them. Auld wizzy wiz a bit worreed when he seen ma Mum takin him oot tae the Pet Herse, so ah shouted frew the fence wurds of encouragements, ah says..."gone yersell auld Wiz, have a rite nice times, ewe is only goin tae the Vet Docktur, ewe will no feeel a fing". Ah fink Wiz wiz pure greetin by wit ah says, but az wiz only tryin tae help.
Ma Mollee said that wiznae nice fur mee tae tell Wiz where hee wiz going, but ah fot hee should ken, so hee widnae worree, coz he fot hee wiz going fur a walk roond the Lock.
Well, when they gets tae the Vet Docktur, all 4 of the Dockturs and the Dockturs assistant wur all on standin waitin, like Wiz wiz royaltee of sumfin. Theys said wees will jizt eggasmine him oot hear so he diznae get upsets. They had like muzzells and harrnesses and sedashons all at the reddy fur auld Wiz, who wiz pure wettin himsell when hee seen all thiz.
The Vet Dockturs said "Wits rang wiff him thiz time?" Ma Mum says hee wiz shakin hiz heed all the times. The Dockturs said ah pure hope he iz better behaved thiz time. Ma Mum wiz neerlee greetin noo, coz auld Wiz iz a furrelee nice chap, and ma Mum wiz upset theys said fings aboot Wiz. Then the Vet Docktur leened doon tae auld Wiz and said........noo thiz iz the funnee fing....he said "Ok, Presley lets have a look"!!!!!! Ah swears tae masell that iz the troof. The Vet Dockturs fot auld Wiz wiz mee. Noo that explains why all fore of the Dockturs wur there, theys fot it wiz mee and thats why theys wur treetin Wiz like Royaltee.
Ma Mum pure burst oot laffin and said thats no Presley, thats Wizzeeeee. The Docktur pulled wan of they funnee faces and says "Wit on erff wur ewe finkin, callin a boy dug Lizzee". Well by thiz point ma Mum wiz neerlee wettin hursell laffin, but Wiz wiznae, coz hee wiznae impressed wiff the Docktur. Poor auld Wiz, wiz taken in a herse tae the vet, and then he wiz pure made oot tae bee wan of they transeggsual dugs!! That wiz enuff tae make anybuddee ill.
Ewes will bee rite pleesed tae ken that Wiz iz all rite noo, hee had pure scratched the inside of hiz eer and made it bleed neer the Kanal. But wee diznae live neer a Kanal, we lives neer the watur, so ah finks they got that bit rang.
If ewes have any auld pink collurs that ewes dont need anymore, pleese send them tae mee and ah will give them tae Lizzeee, ma transeggsual bruver.
Love fae big Presley the King xxxxxxxxxxxxx