Holleedays in warr zones!

Hullo all ewes oot there, ewes will be rite pleesed tae ken that az am feeling rite better noo, but ah still haz a black eye, well ah haz too black eyes but wan iz still all bloodee.
Anyways back tae bizziness. Ah finks ah will let ewes into a seekret. Ma Mum iz goin away on a holleedays - thats iz pure fantasstick fur mee and Mollee. No fing iz am no soor where shee iz goin, but ah finks shee said shee wiz havin a hooeeday in a pub!. Eye thats troo! Noo the pub iz called the Bar Seelona. Am no soor wit tipes of holleeday shee will have in a pub, but ah fink there will bee sum drinkin goin on! Mee and Molleee wur pure eeree wiggin (thats listenin in tae udder peepeells biziness fur undedoocated peeepells), and ah herd ma Mum sayin shee wiz sad that shee couldnae go back tae hur favorite place fur the weakend. Noo ah finks shee said hur favorite place wiz a place called Beetroot, an ah have niver in ma hole life herd of a place called that. But ma Mollee wiz pure laffin and says it wiz a place called Bayroot. Ah says that cannee be rite Molleee coz ah finks there iz a warr in Bayroot or sumfin and wit wid ma Mum want tae go back there fur.
See ma Mum wiz in Bayroot ah fink it wiz last weak or sumfin, or maybee it wiz a foo yeers ago, am no soor but that wiz when ma Mum wiz at See. Shee had also bin tae Collumbeeah, noo ah fot that Collumbeeah wiz a Dicktecktive on the tellys, but it turns oot its an udder place that theys have bommers. Noo ah have bin finkin aboot the times ma Mum wiz at See and ah fot shee pure worked on the big Sipps fur tae take peepells on holleedays, but ah finks shee wiz maybees reeelee in the armees coz why else wid shee have bean tae these weerdo placees.
Noo if ah had kent fur wan minit that shee wiz in the armees ah widnae huv boxed wiff the Vet the udder day, ah wid have leff that tae ma Mum.
So mee and Mollees are on an undercover opperashon tae work oot if ma mum wiz a bommer. But eiver way, ah bet shee wiznae az good at dane bommers az mee, and if ewes diznae beeleeve mee, ask the Vet coz ah dun the biggest bommer on him that hee had ever seen in the hole of his life.
Big Presley the bommer iz off fur tae get hiz arrmee kit reddy. xxxx