Mum decided to take us for a walk today, but wee had udder plans, this was our BIG chance to eescape her clutches!! She put new namby pamby collars on us, then came the namby pamby coats, if all that wasnt bad enough, she then put a chastitee tipe belt thing on Mollee! That was so funnee! Oh no wait a minit, Mum is putting one on mee two. OMG, I hope I dont meet anyone that knows me!! Mum reellee is a nutjob, its no even halloweens and she has dressed mee and the Molls like a rite pare of ..........!! Mum then attached leads to these belt fings, apparently the proper name for these belts is harness, but I ken what they reelee are!!
Hey wait a minute, the udder dog is coming wiff us, the big black guy Mac!! He must be security or somefin for me, the King, to keep all the beetches off me!! What the ......, the cat is coming too, is this a familee day out to look at my poo or something! Weerdos!! Well, I'm not going to give them the satisfaction of doin anyfn, so they are on to plums!! Actually, I shouldnt mention plums, that's a sore point wiff me!!
Mollee wont walk properplee cos the cat iz walking behind us. It turns out its Mum's cat Denzil. Well all witches have cats dont they! When we got really far from the prizon, the stoopid cat ran ahead of us, and me and Mollee went nuts! Mollee was so funny, she jumped up and down, like she was playing 'leep frog' on her own! Nexx fing shes freed herself from the chastity belt and she is off......!!! Way to Go Mollee!! Oh no, she's chasing Mums cat and Mum is mad wiff her. This is brilliant.....Go Mollee Go, Go Mollee Go, Go Mollee Go!! I havent laffed so much since I chooed frew the Vets stethoscope!
Mollee finks she is in the Grand National or somefin, she is jumping over all the fences, frew everyones' gerdins chasing Denzil. Fantastic!! Oh no Mum has started that screeming fing again! The big black man Mac, is barking mad at Mollee, and he wont shut up!! OMG all the nayburs are out, looking a me in a chastity belt!!! This is so hoomilliating!! Next fing a wumin appears and holds me and Mac, while Mum starts running...... why haz Mum joined the chase? Denzil is hiding under a car that is parked in a driveway, and Molls is trying to squeeze under the car two. What the ...., Mum is lying down on the driveway two, probably having a rest after her run. Oh No, she's got Molls by the collar......ooops take cover!!
Mum brot Molls back, mee and Molls are laffin so hard, but Mum, looks like she has just done 10 rounds with Mike Dyson!! Mum brushed herself down and fanked the wumin for holding mee and Mac. Me and Molls kept laffin, but the big black man Mac, didnt find it funny and next fing he decked us!! He is reellee strong, mee and Molls looked reellee stoopid lying in a heep wiff big Mac on top of us. He was growling, so I guess he's not too pleesed wiff us. I didnt realise that Denzil was his best friend. He is such a nut job of a dog. Whoever heard of a Greyhound bean friends wiff a cat, he is really confoosed, he doesnt even know if he is Arthur or Martha!!
Mee and the Molls are in the dog house for the antics on the walk, Mum really needs to get a life!! It was no big deel, Molls let Denzil win the race anyway, cos she could have caught the cat if she really wanted to, she was onlee playing. I dont know why Molls didnt take the opportunity to eescape, I guess she didnt want to go without me, see, she really does fancee mee!
Back to the drawing board for an udder eescape plan. Big Presley has left the building....Taking Care of Business! x
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