Ah fot ah should start todae by updatin ewes on ma storee so far: -
Me and my bruv Aaron, were being held captive by some wumin in Glesga. Wee tried to eescape from day one, diggin holes in the garden, destroying the washing mashine, leeving our prizon cell frew the wall etc,. Then Aaron got taken away, I guess it was for his bad behaviour! The wumin that has captoored us, reckons she is a Foster Mum, so best I just say F....Mum! Wee Molls the pint sized Greyhound is now living wiff me and she is ma noo accomplice in the eescape plans.
Anyway, turns out me and Molls arent the only four legged furree things, bean held captive here. Mum also has a massive dug called Mac and a ....wait for this a CAT! Thats Mum up to 3 dugs....I reckon she must be a 'dug dealer'!! Which makes me even more determined to eescape, I must remember to proteck masell wiff a knive...first opportunity I get.
Mum introdooced us to the CAT. Hiz name wiz Denzil and he pure scratched me rite down the nose....well thats fine, I wont be going near you again, you little good for nothing rug rat!
Hey, we got the purrfect opportoonitee to eescape, Mum furgot to padlock the crate!! Hey, hey Molls we are OOT!! I fot ah wid check behind all the doors in this 'playroom' that the dug dealer calls the kitchen. Its hard work chewing through the wood, but we will get there in the end. Hey presto, we managed to open the doors, but sadly there was another wall at the back of the cupboard. It looked to me like the dug dealer would hold us captive forever, so me and Molls decided that the only thing for it was to a Romeo and Juliet style ending to this sorry mess. I saw a large bottle of somefin, it was gold coloured liquid and we both agreed to drink it. OMG, its fab, we may as well drink the whole lot and be done with it.
Next thing Mum came home, and yes....you got it...she screemed again!! But this time she bundled me and the Moll straight into her car, and drove like a bat out of hell. She took us to some guy who called himself the Vet!
This vet stuck somefin down Mollee froat and next think Molls is bean sick everywhere!! Fantastic! We like to make a mess, and boy did she make a mess!! OMG, no, its my turn now....! Rite, I'm not going to let on I'm bovered about it. So everytime I frew up, ah just looked up at the clock, as if to say...'hey, do I look bothered?' The Vet guy is laffin at me. Right, thats war! If I ever see him again, he is in for so much trouble. You wont believe this, but Mum even had to pay for me and Molls to be sick. I guess shee must be waiting for us to get bigger before she sells us, or worse! Ha ha, it cost her £35, oh yeah and a bottle of cooking oil. Nae Luck, bampot.
Tomorrow's episode:...I did get to meet the guy again who called himself a VET and you wont believe what they did to me!!!
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