Ave bin real busy thinking of ways to get rid of my new long haired Dad, its no gona be eesee cos he's stalking ma Mum nearly every day now! Biting usually works, but this guy, who am meant to call Dad, just pulls faces like its not even hurtin, but I know it is!
I'm six months old now, but in hooman yeers that makes me neerlee 4yrs old. Its comin up to xmas, and Mum & Dad fink that I still believe in Santa...! I hope to get rid of Dad before kiss ma ass day, thats ma goal in life right now....Oh yeah that, and getting a hold of ma beetch the Molls!
Dad is reellee trying to move in on ma Mum, buying her flowers....YUCK.
I must remember to add a little yellow coloured water to them later!! Whats he gone and done now....only bought me a noo coat, to get into ma Mums good books! I grew out of ma last coat really quickly, I meant to do that, cos it was a right horrid colour of green and I dont DO GREEN, especially as it was joby shade of green! Ma last coat hardly even covered ma crown jewels......aye alright, so I dont have any crown jewels, the vet stole them, but I dont think everyone else needs to see that I dont have any!!! Especially all the lovely beetches out there.
What the ......, ma new coat is LIGHT joby GREEN....willl they never learn? Right lets see how long it takes Dad to put this on me, Molls can time me, so that I can work out how many bites per second I can do! 3 minutes 22 seconds....not bad for a first attempt, and a total of 67 bites! Thats an average of one bite every 3 seconds for all the unedoocated peepells out there who cant count! Dad looks like he does that self harm thing with the razor blades, thats so funnee! I have tried to stab him a few times with my knive collection, and although I keep missing him, I will get him one of these days.
I wonder what I will get from 'Santa' ....aye very good, it better no be a JOBY GREEN hat and scraf set. Tomorrow I will tell you what Mum & Dad get me and the Molls for xmas! x
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