Friday 19 October 2007

Az finks az haz brokin ma leg

Yisterday was a good day, despite the fact that a Rotti nearly tried to kill us, and I started to change my mind about eescaping from Mum. Ah decided to weigh everyfin up and see what the best option was. If I eescaped, I would have to hunt for food again. Yeah I like that idea of being the hunter gatherer, that sounds real cool and the Molls would be real impressed with ma hunting skills. Or, the other option is that me and the Molls could stay here, with Mum and Big Daddy Mac, getting fed as and when we want, have a nice warm comfy bed to sleep in, a play room to play in and a gerdin to ...... well, actually, 2nd thoughts forget the gerdin, Aaron ruined that!!

I fot I should run these options by the Molls, I think she will definately go for option 1.
In the name of the wee man, she said that she likes it here and doesnt want to eescape! What the .... is that all about, I think she fancees Mac cos of yisterday, but he is old enough to be her Grand Father, in fact he is old enough to be her Great, Great, Great Grandfather. Perish the fot!!! Yuck! Told you...she is all fur coat and nae knickers under that posh exterior!!

I told her that if we ran away we could have loads of fun and live happilee ever after, and anyway they abolished slavery 198 yrs ago. So Mum doesnt have any right to keep us like prizoners here, and treat us like slaves. OMG Molls is so thick! Ok, so I'm out numbered, I will have to go it alone and maybe meet someone along the way. The door is open and I reckon that if I run fast enough, I will be able to jump over that 8ft fence!

Wey Hey, Oh no, I tripped and fell, I forgot about the 2 steps at the door! Help, I cant move! Hey, Mum, help!! Here she comes. OMG, she is lifting me up and carrying me into the house. Mollee is crying, .........shut up Molls, its me thats dying not you! I guess this is God punishing me for trying to eescape, well I would believe that if I was religous, but I'm not! Mum, looks reellee concerned, I must be on my way out, I'm waiting for her to start reading me the last rites!!

Next thing Mum is lying me down in the back seat of the car and off we go, she is driving like a loony, no change there then!! I cant see very much from my death bed, so I think I will stand up and have a look out the window!! I feel very much better now, its amazing what a bit of attenshon does for ones well being!! OMG, I dont believe it, we are back at the Vets! I guess Mum must get Nectar points or Air Miles, for bringing me here so often. Maybe if I act dead they will feel sorry for me. Mum looks soooooo sad, this is funnee, I hope I dont laff and give the game away. She is carrying me in to see the Vet, but I'm watching her out of the corner of my eyes.

Oh. no its him again, the Vet that used to have a Stethoscope! What is he laff at now? He told Mum to put me down. See I knew I was dying and now he thinks its funnee that Mum has to put me down!! No way Man, I'm only joking, I'm not dying, yet!! ha ha see, I'm awake!! Oh no he meant, put me down on the floor! Oh yeah right, that was hysterical, very funnee! I'm going to pretend that I'm really ill then. The Vet is feeling me all over....weerdo! Now he's told Mum that I have pulled a mussell! At least I've pulled something, cos Mollee wasnt interested!! He stuck a big needle in me, but I wasnt bothered, it didnt hurt as much as the bite I gave him on the back of his hand!!

Mum paid this guy again, I hope she remembered to get the Nectar points, cos this half wit of a Vet sent me out without even a cool bandage on! I think I will give up on trying to escape! Must go now....Big Presley has left the building...taking care of business x

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