My Fillosofee of Life

Mollee, pretty Mollee....oh Mollee, where are you....?? OMG, I have been looking for my sweethart everywhere, I guess she doesnt want to play leep frog just now, oh well, guess I should rite ma blog instead.

I thought I should share my Words of Wisdom wiff ewe, this is my Fillosofee of Life. You will realise just how intelligent az am and why they call me the Lurcher with 2 many brains! Hey, I have brains, (2 in total), cos I'm far two intelligent to only have one brain, I am exceptionally handsum or pawsum and I am a reel hit with the beetches....just ask ma Mollee!! I dont want to divulge all my secrets, but the following basic steps are a guide to ma way of finking!

1. If it looks like food take it, choo it and eet it.
2. If ewer Mum is acktin like food, she must be food. See No. 1
3. If it looks like it might be fun, its ewers. Carry it around and choo it.
4. If an udder pet is using it, distract them, then steel whatever it was they had, carry it around and choo it.
5. If it looks brand noo, it probably is, so choo it.
6. Niver act guiltee. Shamelessness is the best defence.
7. If ewe get cot (ewer stoopid), and numbur 6 fails, just act like ewe dont know what the fuss is all about.
8. No Mum should ever bee to bizee to give ewe affection. Once they do, choo them.
9. Almost anything can be a toy, so just have it and choo it.
10. All female dogs love to play at leep frog. Just make sure ewe dont leep on the rong end, as ewe will miss the spot.
11. Always have an eescape plan.
12. Never take the blame for damage, put all the blame on the udder dog.
13. 'Be Quiet' means in doggie language, bark and cry as loud as possible.
14. 'Leave It' is a term of endearment, and really means, help yourself and never let it go.
15. 'Sit' means, jump up and down, while trying to lick Mums face.
16. Before licking Mums face, make sure you have checked to see if the Crown Jewels have grown back in. Best way to check this is to lick the whole area first!
17. If your girlfriend doesnt want to play Leep Frog, rest assured a visitor to the house does, but ewe have to use their leg instead.
18. Mums love to be chooed, especially when they're hands are full. Remember No. 16!
19. If Mum frows a ball or toy, show them how clever you are, pick it up and find a pile of poo to drop it in, then leave it for them to retrieve. They love this game.
20. At every opportunity, steal food or drink from Mum, they dont need it, ewe do.

Last but not least.
21. Niver do what Mum asks, cos they mean the complete opposite. Enjoy life to the fool!!

Big Presley, is leaving the building to Take Care of Business. Back soon xx