Az iz aboot too anounce that az iz a DAD.
Right az kens this will ruin ma chances way loads of beetches, but az kens this will increase ma chances way loads of beetches tae. Coz az iz the proud Daddy of ma new babe jist born yesterday. Nooo az dont ken how az haz done this, but az iz not going tae run away from ma responsibility, coz she is a beauty....az finks az can send her Maw 5p a week oot ma pocket money tae feed and buy deziner clothes fur ma girl. Az jist dont want anywan tae tell ma Mollee that az iz the Daddy, so az iz asking ewes no tae tell her either. Coz ma Mollee cant have ma puppies and wees dont want tae upset ma Mollees. Here is a picture of ma new wee girl...she is called Lisa Marie, but she doesnae ken that yet.
Can ewes please send me some money fur the upkeep of ma new wee babe, before the CSA...Carras Support Agency...chases me, and ma Molls finds oot. Please send all donations to: me Big Presley, Daddy tae Wan, who has left the building before ma Babe Molls finds oot. xxx
Ewes can jist see her wee face at the bottom of her Mummys leg....dont worry az dont remember finding her Mummys teets either!! xx PS Az iz definately No the father of the other 8 puppies, az kens theys are no mine, coz only wan looks like me. Ma Princess Lisa Marie.xx
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