Hugmanees is here at last

Hullo awe ewes oot there. Az kens ewes huz missed me a right lot, but az haz been right buzy since Santa Coz wiz here. Me and ma Molls hud a pure dead brilliant Kissma ass Day and wees did get a right load of toys tae play wiff. Wees also hud a pure dead brilliant kissma ass Day dinner. Wees sterted wae choo's, then wees hud Prawns, but no jist any Prawns, wees hud 'King' Prawns, coz that iz the only Prawns me Presley the King will eat. Efter wur K.Prawns wees hud a couple of Wizzys poos, then wee hud chokolat, the type fur dugs, and then wees hud turkee and mare biscuits, then wees hud Smoked Salmon fae Royal Deeside fur wur poodin. Ewes always need somfin like Smoked Salmon tae help with ewer poos thats why theys call it poodin, coz ewes always need tae poo'd in the gerden efter ewes huv eatin it.
Noo me and ma Molls decided tae gee big Mac the black bouncer sum time aff, coz it wiz Kissmass, but that meant that wees couldnae go oot in publik. So wees haz jist been dane wit awe right true Royals dae when theys are at hame and az haz been dane a bit of shootin in ma Eestate. Az haz done right well wae ma shootin, and az can noo hit a tree wae ma pee fae a distance of aboot 4 inches away. Cool, eh man? While az wiz practisin ma shootin, ma Molls did a bit of huntin. She wiznae az lucky az mees though, coz she didnae manage tae hunt anyfin. So wees haz still no got oor ane Mr Jingles, maybees wees will be lucky next year. Az did hear a right sad story aboot wit happened tae ma pal Murphy O'Brien and hiz missus Maisie. See their prison guard who is called Mrs Murphy & Maisie O'Brien, she did gets them their ane Mr Jingles, but then ewes will no believe wit she went and done. Az swears tae masell this is true. Shees only went and pit Mr Jingles in the gerden and Murphy and Maisie O'Brien hud tae go and play hide and seek tae get him. That wiz a right bad fing fur her tae dae tae ma pals. Coz az disnae ken if theys ever foond him.
Az finks az should take thiz chance tae wish awe ma pals a right good time tae night and az hopes that ewes huv a right good new year.
Az haz made some pre-dick-shons fur 2008 and az will tell ewes aboot them tomorrow, coz az the only pre-dick-shon az haz hud fur tomorrow is that oor prison guards will no be up oot of their beds before 9am. That means that ma Molls will probably use oor En Suite, which is right next tae the kitchen. Az finks fur a laff that ma Molls should move the en Suite tae oor prison cell door, so that oor Mum & Dad will step in it when theys walk intae oor cell. Az wid right laff at that.
Noo az hopes ewes all huv a right pure dead brilliant night and az will speak tae awe ewes next year and tell ewes ma pre-dick-shons fur 2080. Az iz never wrang way ma pre-dick-shons.

Big Presley haz left the study for the last time this year, az iz takin care of ma business. xx May yur god go wae ewes. xx