Ma blog hus been sabotaged by ma Mum. Thats jist no right. This is ma place fur me tae speak way awe ma beetches. Wit is ma Mum awe aboot. First she gets the Vet tae steal ma Crown Jewells and noo she is tryin tae sobatage ma blog. Az iz gonny huff tae bite her later, and maybees az will smash a few dishes, and az is gonny yell and yell and yell.
Noo let me tells ewes somfin, az didnay willingly particpate in the taking of that stoopid picktoor, az wiz tortured fur them tae take that picktoor. Do ewes ken wit theys did tae me and ma Molls? Theys held oot biscuits fur us and theys said that wees could have wan if wees stood right still, then theys tried tae strangle us way a sparkly rope thing, and tried tae put a red blindfold way a white border and bells on it over wur eyes, so's wees couldnae see wur biscuit. When wees managed tae gets oor blindfolds off, the biscuits wiz gone. Noo that is the truth, and az swears tae masell that is no right.
Yesterday az wiz away dane ma xmas shoppin, and az went straight tae ma old pal Anne Summers tae see if az could gets ma Molls somfin right nice fur her xmas. Noo, az kens ewes will finks az iz just a Romantic at heart, but az jist want tae keep in ma Mollys good books so's that she will play leap frog way me. Noo, az is going tae let ewes awe sees wit az haz managed tae buy fur her.
Az haz bought her two fings. Az haz bought her a Santa Sack thing and thats her present sittin on the top. Its a pair of pawcuffs, and theys will fit right nice intae her Santa Sack!!
Az is hopin that ma Molls will be sooooooo eggsited on xmas mornin when she sees ma present fur her, that she will want tae play way me and az can see if her pawcuffs fit her.
Noo az iz no wantin awe ma udder beetches tae get right jealous, coz az haz jist got ma Mollys a present, coz if any of ewes want tae come over and visit me, az will gee ewes a present tae!!!
Big Presley haz gone tae check his Hemail. Taking care of business xxx
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