Pie in the Sky.

Ewes widnae believe it, but az iz in the poo again, and az disnae ken wit it iz a haz done this time. See, this iz wit happened. Last night ma Mum says I wiz a right good dug, noo that diznae happen very often, so a wiz right chuffed. She telt me and ma Molls, that az wees had been good, that wees would get a piece of Steak and Kidney Pie. Noo how cool is that? Az wiz right lookin forward tae the steak bit of the pie, but az canny eat Kidney coz az is a vegetarian.

Anyways, ma Mum says that it wiz too hot fur us tae eat, so she pit it in wan of they fancy cupboards wees huz in oor kitchen way the glass door in it. That way me and Molls could guard wur pie until it wiz cool enough fur uz tae eat. Ma Mum even went and telt ma Dad that she had pit it in there and wees wur tae get it fur wur last supper. Noo wit a didnae ken at the time that theys wur jist tryin tae torture uz. Coz when it wiz time fur wur last supper, ma Dad didnae gee us the pie and he jist went off tae his bed. So me and Molls sat up all night lookin frew the glass door at wur pie. When ma Mum came doon in the mornin, me and ma Molls wur pure dead foamin at the mouth. Ma Mum fot wees had Rabies or somfin. She wiz screamin at ma Dad tae come doon, and theys wiz going tae rush us tae the Vets. Az finks they need mare Nectar points and thats why theys wanted tae take uz take the Vets.

Ah swear tae masell, a fot, Oh No, if wees go tae the Vets, he will pit yon soap doon wur froats and make us pure dead sick. Az had tae dae a right bit of quick finking. So az took aff at 100mph oot the back door, and ma Molly chased me. Wees jist kept runnin so that theys couldnae catch uz and take uz tae the vets. Theys finally kent there wiz nofin rang wiff us and thats when ma Dad sees the pie still sittin in the cupboard. He says tae ma Mum that he wiz feelin right guilty, but az kens that he wiz jist tryin tae torture uz. He says that me and ma Molls will get the pie the night fur wur last supper. Az iz no sure az likes this last supper idea! Az finks theys has maybe poisoned the pie, coz ma Dad looked like a pile of pants this mornin and he hud the pie last night. Az will let ewes ken if wees are made tae eet the pie.

And, this is an udder true story, that az will tell ewes aboot tomorrow. There is a wumin called Mrs Carras Grannie who is tryin tae say that az iz a father to 9 puppies. Noo az haz seen the picktoors and az finks that only wan or two of thems is ma boys, but az iz no taking responsibilty fur the udder 7. Az will let ewes decide when az gets a picktoor of them.
Big Presley haz left the building tae check on the pie. xx