FREEDOM

How ewes all doin the day? I wiz keepin this next story for an udder time, but a fot ewes would like to know wit happened to me a couple of weeks ago, when Mum & Dad took me, Molls and Big Black Mac tae the beach. They didnae tell us wee's were goin to the beach, so I didnae pack ma Speedos, and Molls and Mac didnae have theirs either! You cannee go tae the beach wiffout ewer Speedos, unless its wan of they weerdo noodist beaches, where naebuddy ever looks you in the eye, cos theys is too busy checkin oot your crown jewells!


Anyways, when wee's got there I seen ma old pal Toby McKay, and wee's had a chin wag. I only does chin wags, cos I dont like any dug sticking their nose up ma back bottom. Then I saw her.....ma future beetch, cor she is frigin beautiful. Dont be put off with her name, its Rag, cos she anit no Rag! Mee's thinks that could be short for Rag-a-muffin, or somfin, but I didnae want to be disrespectful and shout "hey as fancies Rag-a-muffin", just in case she missed me sayins the word Rag!! As thinks her Sunday name is probably Regina, cos that name means Queen and me, the King is always on the look out for ma Queen. 2nd thoughts....I knows wit rhymes wi Regina, so as just gona stick to callin her Rag, before as gets a slap!


Wee's all walked to the beach, no tae be confused with ma beetches! Next thing ma Mum freed me from ma chastity belt and I was FREE at last!! Wey to go big man!! As is OFF!! Nothin is gona stop me now...bye, cheerio, see you around, adios, au revoir, trok lom, hyarcha, ciao, adios....and get yersels tae........!! I'm off like a Greyhound out of trap No.3...as goin for it!! This is brill. Oh eh...hang on, wait just wan minute....what the ...... is goin on here! Mum & Dad are tryin to get rid of Me. What the ...... have a done wrang noo!! Aye, so they thinks theys are dead smart, let me go so's that I will eescape and no be able tae dae anymare damage at the open prizon!! Thats why they didnae bring ma Speedos, cos I wiz meant to run away!! Right, well their no that smart, cos as have decided that as gona ruin their day oot and am goin back!!!


Ma Molls was right pleased to see me go back, cos she didnae want to live in the prizon on her ain. The Big Black Man Mac, wiznae so happy, he was ragin that as ran off, but wit he didnae understand is that Mum & Dad were tryin to dump me and I'm no fur being dumped by nae one!! Mum & Dad are laffin at me, well as gona wipe the smile off their mugs and stay with them,...lets see how funnee they find that!!


Me and the Molls still laff aboot me comin back, cos I knows that right upset Mum & Dad, but that will teach them no tae be so smart next time. Me big Presley the King has loads mare damage tae do at the prizon, so as no goin anywhere until I decide!! This is a picktoor of Me and Molls laughin at the beach! Am the pawsome wan on the rite of the picktoor.