Moving to the Open Prizon in Lan Ark

Ma Mum has been talking about moving hoose fur ages, but first she had some renovations to do around the hoose.... she is trying to blame me for that! She had to landscape the back garden, and replace the LSD...! To get a trip on LSD, we waited until Mum had hung oot the washin, then me and the Molls would grab the end of a towel or summit and run dead fast, then the Large Swinging Dryer went round and round so fast that me and the Molls took off up in the air.....that was so cool...!! The look on ma Molls face when she hit the ground was amazin, her eyes were crossed like Clarence the Lion! That was sooooooo funnee!

Then Mum had to replace everyfin in our playroom, including the wall, that I tried to eescape frew, the place she calls a kitchen! The guy who did the work, was real cool. His name was Davie, and he always gave me and the Molls biscuits, we liked him, we wanted to go and stay with him, but Mum told me that wee was doin a 'life sentance' with her! Whats the life sentance fur ?? Well I just said to the Molls, if as to do a life sentance, when as is innocent of all charges, as never gona behave ever again in ma hole life!

She told me and the Molls at our last parole hearing, that we was being moved to an Open Prizon in Lan Ark. Yeah right, very good, where ..... is Lan Ark! I hope the Postman knows, so that he can re-direct ma fan mail.

At the end of February we moved to the Open Prizon, right out in the countryside, you know the type of place, it was sheep ........ country! Where all the men wear wellies!! As we drove away from oor last prizon, I saw the nut job Rotti out walking...so as shouts to him....get yersel to ......, and as put two fingers up at him! All the way to oor new prizon, Mum kept sayin that I had to talk properly from noo on, cos we was going to live in a right nice place. Aye very good, like as dont already speak real posh!
But hey, this place is real cool, cos instead of using knives like they do in Glesga, the neds out here have shotguns....that is brilliant. I must get masel one of them! I wish as had one of them in Glesga, I could have taken oot the Rotti and all the dug dealers in the area.

Oor new playroom is rotten, obviously udder prizoners have been held captive in here, but ma Mum will no stand for me and the Molls living in this old dated place, cos she knows we like noo fings, they taste much better! This really is an open prizon, the garden is massive, it will take me and the Molls years to tunnel out of this place, and there is no LSD to help us!! Oh well best make a start!

Tomorrow as gona tell ewes about more about ma new prizon and about the fact that ma
Mum & Dad really are dug dealers!!