Molly the Mohican!

I telt ewes the udder day that wee's has a naybur, honestly its troo, even out here in the country. I guess they canny hay much money and got their hoose right cheap, cos lets face it, nae buddy would want tae live next door tae an open prizon foo of dugs! As dont know wits theys folk are called, that live next tae us, but as call them Tom & Barbara Good, not cos theys are Good, but cos theys are like they nutjobs aff the telly programme the Good Life! Theys have dugs, and about 6 chickens, (well 5, since me and the Molls kilt wan), theys have geese, theys have they big dugs wiff udders, and theys even had lambs. I knows a rhyme about that....., Mary had a little lamb,She thought it was quite silly. She threw it up into the air, And caught it ......no, as canny say the next bit! Thats ma favorite nursery rhyme, its no the words ma Mum tot me, but as just changed the words, cos ma Molls laffs when as tell her that one.

Anyways, as has counted that Tom & Barbara have 3 dugs, wan is so old, he can hardly even walk, so as call him the old codger. Then they huv a younger version of the old codger, as call him the codger and, theys have a black and white dug that as call syco, cos he's is a syco. He just jumps up and doon aw day, hee's thinks he is Zebedee from the Magic Roundabout, either that or he is on drugs! Me and the Molls shout at thems frew the fence, and wee's chase them up and doon the exercise yard. Theys canny run as fast as me and the molls, cos theys are old and fat, and syco can only go up and doon. As thinks the old codger is gona have a heart attack wan day trying to chase us, its so funnee, cos he's always got tae lie doon after wee's have knackered him oot.

Wan day me and the Molls were runnin up and doon, shoutin abuse at the codgers and syco and wee's were laffin real hard. Next thing is, ma Molls let oot a screem like ewes have niver heard in ewer lifes before, unless ewes have heard oor Mum screem. Anyways, Molls wiz cryin, so as runs to her, I fot wan of the codgers had stabbed her or shot her or sumfin. She was right sobbin and as helps carry her back to oor cell. Mum came in and looked at ma Molls and OMG , Molls had a Mohican hair do on her back!! They nutjobs had only gone and skinned me Molls alive!! I dont remember much else, cos I think as fainted!
When as woke up Dad had clean Molls back and geed her a chew. Theys wiz laffin at me cos a hud fainted, but as telt them I wiz only joking, so's that a could get a choo too.

Ma Molls back has all heeled up noo, it turns oot the codgers hud nae stabbed her, she caught it on a tree stump, but Molls is left with her Mohican hair style on her back!. Shee's gona huff tae look after hersel a bit better, cos she begining to hang like a pun of mince, wit wae her broken tail and noo her Mohican. As like ma beetches to look good all the time, so as gona see if as can book Molls in for wan of they face lift things. Right got to go noo and dae my research. Big Presley has left the study. Taking care of business! x