Takin the Lead Role!

As has already written this blog thing fur today, but as wiz readin it again and as didnae like it, so as is writing it again.
See a couple of months ago, as hud been listen to ma Mum talking tae some geezer that wiz in oor hoose. Noo, as didnae ken who this geezer wiz, and a didnae ken if ma Dad kent that an udder geezer wiz in oor hoose when hee's wiz at his work. Noo am no a grass, (unless its ma Molls dane somefin that a could be blamed fur), but as wiz just worried that some geezer wiz wantin tae cut ma Dads grass. Anyways, I heard him telt ma Mum that he wiz fae the BBC and theys wiz wantin tae make a movie aboot ma Mum, AND he wiz wantin tae include the dugs here at the prison, especially me, the King! Well, as thought tae masell, I wiz right all alang, this geezer is tryin tae get ma Mum tae dae weerdo fings. Az iz no gony get involved in anythin like that!
So, as asked ma Molls wit the BBC wiz, and she didnae ken. I telt you she is fick. Well, see, I sat and fot aboot it, and then it hit me!! BBC obviously stood fur, Best Beetch Contest!! Way to Go big Man Presley, as says to masell.
Noo as heard this geezer tellin ma Mum that theys wiz gona film hear at ma prizon!! So as thinks tae masell that if aw these beetches wur coming here as better get masell squared up, and loose the Molls. I didnae want no beetches thinkin as wiz merit to the Molls and miss ma chances of playin leap frog wiff them.
As didnae need tae work hard tae look as good as a dae, cos as wiz born right handsome, as a is the King. I fot that if as just had a bath or sumfin that wid dae me. As goes oot in the rain and gets masell all wet, that wiz as near tae a bath as I wid get. Mum only went and dried me wae a towell, and as ended up lookin as though, someone hud stuck an electricity pylon up ma jacksy and switch the power on!! That wiznae the look as wiz gone fur, aw ma hair wiz standin on end!. So as spent the rest of the night tryin tae get ma lovely coat smoofed back doon!! Ma Mum must huv fot that she wiz been right funnee. Well as will no be huvin a bath fur another couple years efter that eggspeereeanse!!
As spent the rest of ma time workin oot in the exercise yard, so that I wiz all toned up. As wiz lookin brilliant and ready to play leap frog wae the beetches in the contest. As says bring it on! When the BBC came to oor hoose theys brought massive cameras, and some geezer called Dennis, hud a deed squirrel wae a pole shoved up its jacksy, that he kept sticking in everywans faces when they said somfin! Wit is that all aboot? How can ewes concentrate on lookin good, when some geezer keeps pokin ewe in the face wae a deed squirrel?? As tried tae look right cool, as didnae want to seem too keen, cos that could pit ma beetches off. As just sat and waited, and waited, and waited and waited and as waited all day!! Noo as may be cool, but as no that cool. So as started yellin at them tae get the beetches intae ma cell. Well, ewes are no gona believe wit happened next, and neither did eye! I wiz tells ewes all aboot it the morra. Big Presley has left the building cos as has business tae dae in the gerden!