Fooneral of a Skunk

Hullo, as iz no very happy today, cos as has just found oot that ma Mum & Dad went tae meet ma pal big Dennis the soundman and didnae take me along. Noo, as has found out that ma Mum & Dad, were away making they weerdo movies again, this time theys wur in a Pet Cemetery. A swear tae masell, that wan day ma Mum will star in a Stephen King movie. Anyways, as wiz checkin oot the fotaes they took at the Cemetery and ah sees that ma old pal Dennis huz buried the deed squirrel on a stick and he hus a black thing on a stick noo. As thinks this must be a deed skunk or somfin. Theys telt me it wiz called a 'boom', and lets face it, if somewan stuck a pole up ewer back bottom, you wid go Boom aswell!! See this fotae, thats ma pal Dennis on the left, Mick the producer in the middle, Jim on the camera, and the deed skunk at his feet on the right!













Az also found oot that yon geezer that is called the Syco Barber wiz with them. Az thinks on a Sunday he goes undercover and calls himsell Gordon Smith. Az didnae ken why hees is called a Syco Barber, probably cos hees uses a machette or somfin tae cut hair and makes a right mess of it. Az need tae warn ma beetch Jenna wae the long hair no tae go tae him, in case he diznae dae a good job and anyways, az can pit up way her long hair, it gees me somfin tae hold on tae when wees is playin leap frog!

Noo I heard ma Mum sayin that the geezer, the Syco Barber is a right smart guy cos he, like, communicates wiff the deed. Noo that wid make sense as tae why he wiz talkin tae ma Mum, cos everytime az looks at hur, as thinks she looks like she died a few years ago!
Az haz read some of the Sycos books, no aboot cuttin hair, but the wans that hees talks aboot the efter life and az thinks he is real cool, cos he disnae make things up and he like, 'feels' if there is beetches around. Noo, az is a bit like that, cos az 'feels' if there are beetches around me, 'esp' ...cially, all the wans that wants tae play leap frog wae me, big Presley the King! Az haz decided that az is going tae allow the Syco Barber tae be ma pal and wees can share oor stories aboot 'feeling' the beetches around us. Az will let ewes ken hows az gets on wae ma new pal, and when his new book comes oot aboot feeeelin beetches. Az reckons its going tae be a right cool book, but az hope az didnae end up in his book fur a right long time. Big Presley is away off feelin his beetches! Ewes can check oot ma pals website on http://www.thepsychicbarber.co.uk/