Ewes widnae believe wits happened doon here at the open prison...this wiz so funny as fot as should tell ewes aboot it. Ewes kens how ma Molls is the number wan Moose Hunter in the World, well ok, probably just in oor exercise yerd. Every night ma Molls goes oot armed wae her ain teeth, lookin fur a moose for us tae keep as a pet, like Mr Jingles. Noo ewes kens she aye ends up killin oor pet by mistake, but she keeps tryin and wan day I'm sure wee's will huv oor ane Mr Jingles and he will no be deed.
There are millions of wee furry things oot here in the country and wees is just wantin wan tae call oor very ane. As wiz askin ma Mum if wees could get a cat or sumfin, but she said No all cos of ma Molls track record of killin things. A tried tae explain to ma Mum that me and Molls would grow up mentally unstable and probably huv tae have wan of they Frontal Lobotomee fings, if wees didnae huv oor ane pet, but she wiznae bovered and she says that she fot ah already had a Frontal Lobotomee!!. Well that is choice comin from hur, as ewes are aboot tae learn.
A geezer comes tae the open prison and he tells ma Mum he wiz fae the Cooncil and he wiz there tae lay traps for wee furree fings. So as wiz thinkin tae masell that ma Mum wiz gony get me and Molls a Mr Jingles fur wur Christmas or sumfin. Then as heard ma Mum tellin this geezer that she fought theys wur rats!! No wae man. Nae buddy telt me that they wee furree fings wiz rats!! This geezer agreed way ma Mum that cos Tom & Barbara Good, next door hus chickens, that wees could be sharin oor exercise yerd way Rats. Az is no stayin in a place where there is Rats! But then ma Mum telt him that ma Molls keeps killin oor Mr Jingles. This geezer then said..."oh didnae worry then, you'll no huv rats if ewes huv mice, cos the rats would huv ate the mice". This wid right pit ewes aff yer dinner, but its true! Mum, said, well come and look round the front of the house, there is markings which I think is Rat Tracks. Noo, me and Molls couldnae see wit wiz gone on, but wees could hear.
The geezer telt ma Mum that it wiznae a Rat Track, is wiz the track of a Stoat!! He telt ma Mum, ewe definately didnay huv rats if ewes have a stoat, cos theys eats the rats!! OMG, this is like a hole Biology lesson and wees huvnae even been tae school!! Well me and the Molls wiz laffin oor heeds aff, cos ma Mum looked so stoopid going on aboot rats!! She wiz right pleased tae hear that wee's didnae huv rats in oor open prison cos wees had a stoat!! Halleluyah, then came the punch line. Ma Mum looks at this geezer and said "Oh, wees fought it wiz rats and wees has poisoned the stoat" Isnt that brilliant. So noo the same geezer hus tae come back next week again tae make sure, the frigin rats huvnae moved in cos ma Mum only went and kilt the fing that wiz keeping them away. Me and Molly wiz laffin so much, Molly pee'd hersel again! And tae think ma Mum finks as had hud a Frontal Lobotomee...!!!
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