Yesterday az wiz tellin ewes aboot ma pal DA and how hees is possessed way the spirits fae a bottle, but todays az is going tae tell ewes aboot ma other pal Barry Humphries. Az know him as Hump, cos that iz a right cool name.
Anyways, az wiz reading the Sunday Mail the other day, az thinks it wiz probably on Tuesday, and az sees an advert fur ma pal Hump. Hees is appearing at the SECC as part of a comedy thing in Glesga. Noo az dont ken if any of ewes kens ma pal Hump, but hees like pure dead funny coz he like gets possessed by other people tae. He gets possessed by a beetch called Dame Edna, but the wan that az likes the best, is when hees is possessed by a ghoul called Sir Les Patterson. See coz like, he is the only 'Les' thats no on Channel 5!!! That reminds me of a right funnee fing az sees on the telly, when a geezer wiz asked to name a 'Bean' and he says 'Baked Bean' but they widnae allow that coz someone else had already said that, so he changes his answer tae Les Bean!! I right laffed ma socks off at that answer, that wiz so funnnnnnnnee!! Ewes will no be surprised tae learn that Les Bean wiznae the right answer!
Anyways ma pal Hump haz his ane official website coz hees is the Chairman of the Australian Cheese Board. Noo hees diznae bother too much aboot being PC, noo az dont mean a personal compootar, az is meaning Politically Correct, coz he diznae care who he like offends and az finds that so funnnnnnee, cos the whole world haz gone nuts tryin no tae upset anyone. He is a bit like aw they beetches whoose are selling their fragrance wae their name on it. Coz Hump has his ane fragrance and if ewes stand close tae him ewes can smell it!! Hees haz also decided tae look after himsell, so hees haz cut doon on smoking and drinking. Hees only smokes 60 a day noo and wan bottle of whisky, so I guess hees will be lookin right cool when az sees him next march.
Az haz got tae go the noo, coz az is makin ma ane fragrance here in the study. Az will be back later. Big Presley haz left the study....he is takin care of business in the gerden!! x
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